For that, I'm Grateful

As I write this, I'm currently lying on my couch with it very quiet in my house and reflecting on this past year. And oh what a year it's been! The year started out with the finalization of my divorce and possibly the toughest/darkest thing I've ever had to endure. In fact, I'm still feeling the effects of that whole situation and very well could for a long time. I'm not going to lie; 2008 was quite a tough year for me. It was a year of struggle, humility, change, and fortitude. I look back and see that there were many times that I didn't want to go on, but God gave me the strength to somehow continue. It was a year of realizing that God is truly real and He didn't allow me anything more than I could bear - therefore, I'm grateful. I have to say as tough as things have been this past year, I'm still a very blessed man. I'm thankful for many things past and I'm certainly thankful for my future, my potential, and who I will be through the Lord's merciful refinement of my character. God has been graceful and gentle in His approach to me and my life circumstances. He's revealed Himself through many things and people. For that, I'm also humbled and grateful. Some of the few things that I'm grateful for are:

- My wonderful children - My kids have been THE source of strength, encouragement, and drive to help me get through my "darkness" period. They've been so amazing in how God has used them to speak to me in so many different ways. I've experienced the grace of forgiveness from above through my wonderful girls. Throughout this whole situation and the past year, they still seem to think I'm wonderful and cool. That, in and of itself, is holy forgiveness and a gift that will keep me going for a long time to come.

- My brother Troy - What more could I say about him. This guy is the one guy that refuses to let me go and is there no matter what! No matter the circumstances, he is the guy that has stood by me through everything unconditionally. And throughout everything he has told me that he will love me. THAT is godliness and a reflection of the love of Christ. I don't know that I could or would be that way, but he (over almost everyone else) has shown me the loving realness of our Lord. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

- My parents - I'm so grateful that I have parents that have shown me and raised me in a Christ-centered environment. The older I get, the more I realize how valuable that is. They have planted a seed in me that continues to grow within me in wanting to be closer to Him, be more selfless, and become more giving and understanding. They have instilled in me right and wrong, yet even when I make drastically wrong, unhealthy, and bad choices, they continue to forgive as Christ forgives. Again, something I'm not sure I could do on a regular basis. For that too, I'm eternally grateful.

Lastly, I'm grateful for many other things in my life. Too many to name, but I know that God has special things in store for me in the coming years. I am sure of that. He has allowed me to cross paths with my now good friend Jay Hall. The Lord has shown me that there are good godly people here and ones that are honest, have integrity, and are truly interested and concerned in people and their innate goodness. Jay is one of these men. He has decided to do life with me and I him in return. He's a wonderful Godly man and has helped me physically in so many unexplainable ways - and the funny thing is, I'm not the only one. The Lord has a special place in Heaven for this man. I'm convinced of it and I find myself being drawn to him and just wanting to be around him in order to make myself a better person. For that, I'm forever grateful.

In all, I'm looking forward to 2009 and not looking or dwelling on the past. It's time to move! It's time to change, and I mean change for the better. God is still working on me and that means I have His attention. . . for some reason. And for that. . . . I'm eternally and lovingly grateful!