The Passing of a Friend

Today is May 28, 2010. This past Tuesday the very best friend in the whole world to my twin girls (Shelby & Taylor - age 17) passed away from severe head trauma attained from a freak car accident. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to have to sit back and watch the pain of my children affect just about every area of their lives. I could do nothing outside of try and be there for them and love on them. I couldn't relate to their loss because I've never had a close loved one or best friend die a tragic death. I didn't know what to say. . . I didn't know what to do!

The past few years have been a great struggle for all three of my little angels. They have endured the pain of their parents' divorce, living with an understandably bitter and searching mother, their lives being turned upside down by moving away from the only home they've ever known, and now this! What is God saying in all of this? What is God teaching in all of this? In fact, where IS God in all of this? I don't know and I can't see it and quite honestly, I'm hurt and angry! I'm angry for my ailing children. I'm angry with myself because I feel that some of their hurt has been caused by me and my past actions. Are these the consequences that I have to live with and they have to suffer from? Why can't I just fix it? Why can't I just be the one to atone for all my wrongs and mistakes. Why can't I just protect my girls from this sort of pain and turmoil? Just WHY?

Today is the funeral for their friend Hannah Ridling. I knew Hannah because the twins so loved her that they wanted to bring her with them on a visit to Tennessee from Alabama to meet their Daddy. She was a sweet, wonderful, vivacious, lively, and outgoing child. She always loved to laugh and smile with a warm compassionate heart. She was very polite and respectful to adults and always wanted to please others. Even though Hannah's funeral is in Montgomery, Alabama, today in Franklin, TN is noticeably gloomy and quiet. There are no birds chirping and singing outside my office window. It's noticeably quiet today (especially for late Spring) - almost as if nature and the Lord is respecting a wonderful life lost on earth. Hopefully one day, we'll see and understand the good that God will bring from this tragedy. But until then, I choose to believe that God loved that child so much that He wanted her to be with Him this very moment. I'm sure she's in Heaven laughing with Jesus and looking down on all the ones that love and miss her so greatly.

She will be missed - especially by the Collins girls! May she rest in the peace of the Lord and may her family find comfort in Christ.

Hannah Ridling - 1994-2010