Snowed In!

Enjoying some family time with my brother's family and my Dad in whom rarely visits Tennessee. It just so happens that we're severely snowed in which forces us to visit with each other. Great and relaxing family time.

The picture is of my Dad and nephew (Troy's son, and the only Collins boy in our family) Corban Collins. The other picture is 6-7 unheard inches of snow on the ground in Franklin, TN. Our area is literally shut down!

Earthly Fulfillment

Will Jesus fulfill us here on earth? from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

An amazing, insightful, yet simplistic view of the Christian life and our earthly fulfillment coming from Donald Miller. This guy never ceases to amaze me with the depth of his views yet he makes them so easy to understand. I hope you agree.

This video lasts for a bit more than 5 minutes but well worth the viewing.

Doing Things His Way

Isaiah 55:9 states, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

This was my morning devotion and it really hit me hard! It talked about every person having a dream. Something that they're believing for and like I mention yesterday, many times those things don't pan out just how you envision them. I know for me, I've spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do next, where I can go, what's on the horizon, how I can re-invent myself. That's putting God in a box by me limiting what He can do for me and through me if I just put my faith in Him. That's an easy thing to say and a really tough thing to put into practice when you're thrust into "survival mode." I guess that's where the Lord wants me to be. Completely and totally dependent on Him for survival. Well, guess what - I'm there!

However, throughout my three year process of being separated and divorced, I've continuously prayed for wisdom and peace. My parents used to tell me, "Be careful what you pray for. You just may get it." As far as the wisdom part, I'm not real sure I'm on that train. But I HAVE been given a certain peace throughout this whole process - especially in the events of the last two months. God has been seriously stirring in the depths of my soul. I have this feeling deep down that He has something out there that's just around the corner. Something that is significant to my skill sets and something in which I can be a contributor and giver rather than the taker that I had been for so many years. As I've stated, I don't know what that is but I have a peace about it. I'm in HIS care and I know it. I have a long way to go but the Lord is guiding me there this time. I'm not blindly driving on my own like I once was. Never again! This time I will - "Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

Now off to meetings and training! I hate this cold weather! Please hurry back Spring!

Mid-Life Crisis?

During a 47 minute hammerfest that included 4 minutes of Tabata Intervals on a stationary bike, I started thinking - deeply thinking (which I often do during these times of suffering). I thought; here I sit in a gym full of middle-aged to elderly women and men and I realized that I'm now one of them! When did I transition and cross over into being a middle-aged guy trying to hang on to good health? What happened to the twenty-something kid that used to play college basketball and not have a care in the world? I don't remember my mind ever transitioning into middle-agedom, but my body certainly has! In fact, I still think of myself as being in my late twenty's - probably to a fault.

That got me thinking even more. Here I sit on a stationary bike at 9:00 am on a Tuesday - sweating, jobless, sleeping on a friend's couch, children in another state, wondering and praying about what's around the corner. I realized that this is not what I had planned for my life at 43 years old! This was not the blueprint I had laid out to follow. My focus had gone from being a professional in an industry that I loved and grew up with, to figuring out how to survive and re-invent myself - at age 43! This was not the plan I had sketched out! Then it dawned on me! I'm not alone in this! Maybe this is the epitome of what people refer to as a mid-life crisis. Maybe that's the very definition! Could it be that millions of men have these goals and plans in the backs of their mind and it inevitably never quite comes to fruition the way they planned it? That's certainly me. Perhaps I've found the key to what a midlife crisis is! Self realization that life throws you pitches that you just can't hit. Maybe once we've realized this and accepted it for what it is, we can move on and truly fall into what it is that we are. Not necessarily a re-invention at middle life, but a divine intervention in succumbing to what we are truly meant to be!

Psalm 138

Donald's Outlook

About a week or so ago, I found this excerpt on Christianity and spirituality on Donald Miller's blog. He's a really nice guy and just so happens to be my favorite author by penning my favorite book I've ever read - Blue Like Jazz. I identify with his outlook on life, relationships, and most importantly, Christianity. He's a very intellectual guy. Far more intellectual than I'll ever be. Therefore, when I read this excerpt on the heels of the Pat Robertson incident about Haiti, I greatly connected with his point of view - thereby solidifying even more my common outlook on things that I share with him.

I really enjoy his take on life, love, relationships, spirituality, sports, etc. He doesn't take himself seriously, AND he's an avid cyclist. Therefore, he can't be too bad!

Here's his excerpt:

This is from the comments made from Pat Robertson about the earthquake in Haiti.

• I’ve found that the more I trust in Christ’s redemption to be sufficient, the less overtly religious I am. And, quite honestly, the more suspect overtly religious people become to me. When I’m with somebody who talks zealously about faith, about Jesus, about the Bible, after a while, I find myself wondering whether or not their faith is strong at all. For instance, if I were with somebody who kept talking about how much they loved their wife, going on loudly and profusely, intuitively I would wonder whether or not they were struggling in their marriage. I would wonder whether they were trying to convince me they loved their wife, or if they were trying to convince themselves. (Now that I think of it, though, some of my favorite people talk about how much they love their wives, but these are less public proclamations and more sighs of appreciation.) Faith in Christ, for me, is similar. It’s intimate. I’m more comfortable giving quiet prayers, intimate prayers. Often alone, in fact. I speak of faith the way I speak of personal matters. Of course there is a time for proclamations, but that’s the key, isn’t it? There’s a time. Anyway, I love that the New Testament is mostly intimate letters written to small groups of people who met in homes. I like the quiet authenticity of our faith. Robertson’s loudness and shock-jock verbiage seems strange and oddly uncompassionate. It felt like he was trying to tell us how tough he was, not how compassionate God is.

Making Progress

So, it's been quite a while since I last posted here at Compete Life. Almost 7 months to be exact. Many things have transpired. Much time has passed. Perspectives have evolved. Since the passing of Brandon Klein, I discovered a lot about myself. I've realized that I am greatly flawed. I am selfish. I am stubborn. I am resilient. And I am a survivor. You see, in an effort to stay as transparent as one can on a blog, I've gone from living in a beautiful 3800 sq. ft. home to living on a great friend's (@ksparq08 for all you Twitter fans) couch. Over the past two years, I've gotten a huge slice of humble pie. And believe me, even though it doesn't taste good, it's extremely healthy! I was once a highly sought after producer in the Christian music market. Now I am completely unemployed and praying for God's guidance in how I will meet my monthly responsibilities on the horizon.That's quite a drastic and humbling change, both financially and emotionally, but the valuable lesson that I've been learning is how to truly rely on the Lord's guidance in the smallest of areas. That's something that never occurred to me as little as 4-5 years ago. I was selfish and self-absorbed!
As some of you know that have visited this blog in the past, I decided to take up the sport of triathlon and chronicle my exploits in training and competing. Little did I know that the training aspect of this activity would become so important and vital to my development both physically and, more importantly, spiritually. You see, being out alone on the streets or in the water, has become my prayer closet. It's the place that the Lord speaks to me the loudest and most clearly. And it's in this time that I can truly converse back to him audibly. It's my time with Him. It's OUR time together to sort through my "things."

In one of my recent daily devotions it said, "Anytime you try to make progress, there WILL be opposition. But with God on your side, you can stand your ground." With that being said, this past week was one of serious opposition. Satan knew exactly where to poke, prod, and test me. I cut ties with a very close friend of almost a decade because our relationship had become more adverse than friendly, one of my best friend's child was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, I lost my job, and I have to go back to court for family reasons. It's been quite a week with a ton of painful build-up! That may be one of the reasons why I'm chronicling this - because it's a much needed outlet to get this stuff off of my chest and somehow make sense of all that's rumbling around in my head. That takes me back to my devotion. This has been my opposition and yet I'm choosing to stand my ground. Because unlike times before, I now more than ever know that God is on my side standing right behind me to support me and to remind me that He knows what the final outcome is and He knows who it benefits. I find peace and comfort in that.

Will this be a blog that keeps record of some forty-something year old man trying to stay in shape for some cheesy races? NO! Will it be an every day account of what's going on in my life? Absolutely not! I'm too private and reclusive for that. However, this WILL be a place where I will occasionally write my thoughts and epiphanies every once in a while. If no one sees or cares, fine. If they do, I hope you enjoy. Until next time, I ask and covet your prayers that the Lord truly guides me to where He wants me to be.

Stay active and enjoy life. You only get one!