Provision

This is going to be a short Friday post.

I just wanted to jot down my feeling that when I hurt, I can handle it. I can deal with it. I can make myself feel that I can make it through. However, when someone in my family hurts, I take it much more harshly. It's hard for me to loose that burden. I carry it heavily. Why do I say this? It's because I see that the one person that I've known the longest and that I love so dearly is struggling. It's my brother. I struggle with knowing that he's hurting inside while outwardly being the strong Godly man that I always know him to be. He too will make it through what is presently a season. For me, I must still trust that the Lord will provide for he and his family that I so dearly love.

Pray for my brother and his family as he navigates some uncomfortable times. Sometimes God allows us to become uncomfortable to ultimately find comfort in Him.

The Journey Home

Okay, so as of current posting time, I wasn't able to get this up for yesterday. It's Monday morning and Troy and I are home safely and have had a full night's sleep. It's nice to be home and comfortable in your own space. However, this trip will go down with tons of special meaning. Quality family time, exercise, competition, Florida weather, the coastal environment, and (most of all) time well spend with our Grandmother whom we rarely get to see anymore. We had a wonderful time with her and a great period of "bonding" time with her in her old age. This trip has really solidified how much my support system and family mean to me. I (or we, I should say) couldn't have done this without the "behind the scenes" support of our family. It's a strengthening and confidence builder. Troy and I now feel that we can go out and conquer anything that we truly put our minds to. We know we have the focus and the drive and it's that support system that we can fall back on when we are feeling weak. That's a wonderful gift that I've truly realized in the past few years from being so selfish. Thank you, triathlon, for being a part of helping me realize my strengths, my weaknesses, my faults, and my iniquities. As Troy and I have often realized, the sport of triathlon is a metaphor to life. It's a long journey that you continue to learn from and better yourself from your mistakes. As I get older, maybe that is why I'm so attracted to the sport. All I know is, it's making me a better overall man - even though I still have a long way to go.

Now it's time for some rest for a few days then on to our off-season workout routine. We'll keep you posted.

The Day Before Suncoast

As I sit here entering this blog, I find myself in a very peaceful place. I'm with family whom I love and I know who loves me. My sweet Grandmother is here with us and I rarely get to see her. She's 81 years old and my Mom & Dad are currently taking care of her as she slowly succumbs to the years that continue to pass her by. She's a wonderful old lady that still is as feisty as ever. We love her dearly.

I'm at peace with everything right now. I'm ready to go tomorrow and I really want to do well. Maybe even to my own detriment. At any rate, the last half of the day today was spent in preparation for tomorrow morning's race. Troy and I went to get our registration packets, we picked up a new wet suit for the cold water swim, and we have set out all of our gear in order for the transitions. If we're not ready now, we're not ever going to be ready. It's go time! It's time to put up and shut up! It's time to ultimately have fun! Here we go!

Spotting the Unicorn

First, I want to start by getting the business out of the way. Big E is now gone and the creative weekend is over (and what a weekend it was!). I'm now back to my regular training routine and am really ratcheting that down these last 4 weeks. I'm shooting for being in the best shape of my life! Shouldn't be a problem.

Now for a rare moment of transparency (which is truly rare). I'm posting this at a time when I currently haven't done my training for the day due to the "unusualness" of the day's schedule. It's Tuesday and I've just dropped off Big E at the airport. Normally, that's not a big deal because we've been best friends for almost 9 years now. However in all the times that we've been together throughout the country, this time was different. God opened my eyes to something that I've been closed to for far too long and that is the physical view of what true friendships and relationships are all about. This weekend was that eye-opener for me. You see, E came into town to work on some specific things that pertain to music and we had a clear vision and direction of what we wanted to accomplish - and we did that. But E was here for more than just music. Unknowingly, E came here for me because he's selfless and truly loves me for who he knows Todd to be. It really hit me today that Big E needed me to know, in all of our macho athletic bravado, that he's here with me and for me and just wanted to love on me through a very difficult situation. That means far more to me than any hit song, any cool athletic event, or any Nike hookup! That is the fruit and manifestation of what it means to love someone and to truly be their friend.

I sit here a broken and humbled man, but a very blessed man as well. I've been through some tough times, but it's through these times that God has really revealed himself to a hard headed self-centered idiot such as myself. The Lord has allowed me some trying times but it's through these times that He's purposefully put people in my life that normally may not have been there to reveal more of His glory. I'm lucky to have men in my life that I know will be there and stand in the gap for me. Particularly guys like Big E and, most of all, my brother. It's through these two and other close personal relationships that God shows me that I can make it and I'll be a better man on the other side of this. It's through these people that He speaks to me. For that, I'm a blessed man in so many ways.

Now back to training.

Back in the Valley

Well, we're back in Franklin and the "vacation" is now officially over. Tomorrow starts our updated training schedule for our next race. Troy and I are definitely rejuvenated from learning more about what we can and can't do to prepare for a race. I'm excited to get on with the training and target our next thing. We had a great time in learning about the triathlon process, the actual race itself, spending time with our parents, resting, training in a different environment, etc. Now it's time to focus again and also concentrate on getting Troy even more svelt and ready. He's willing and able and that's over half the battle. He's really had a great attitude in allowing me to make him my guinea pig. I think I'm actually learning more than he is!

At any rate, being back is bitter sweet but that's a huge part of life itself. I'm anxious to see my girls and continue moving on to the next chapter. It's all about moving forward and not looking back.

The Long Road Home

As I lay here typing this entry, Troy and I find ourselves in Georgia somewhere North of Macon and just South of Atlanta. We're in a hotel room getting some rest in order to awake in the morning to finish our trip back to Franklin. In the quiet of the room, I contemplate our trip, what we did leading up to the race, our preparation, what we can do better, and what lies ahead. I gotta say, it's greatly rewarding knowing that we set out to accomplish something and we did it! I love that feeling. It's the same feeling that continues to bring me back to this place and want to help others to get to experience what I've experienced. I feel that's becoming my calling. Maybe that's better decided by the Lord. In any case, I'm rejuevinated and ready to get back in to our routine of training and starting to step it up a notch. On the other hand, I'm still very stressed by what awaits me back home in my responsibilities, my duties, and the overwhelming mountains I have to climb on a personal level. However, I do find comfort in the peace I'm afforded from the Lord almighty. I've realized that it's through my family and close friends that I've truly felt His presence and peace. He continues to speak to me mightily through people He places in my life and I'm grateful for that. I don't receive subtleties very well and the Lord knows that best. He's managed to purposefully place some very special people in my life, and it hasn't been until just recently that I've truly opened my eyes to that.

Well, enough of the sentiment. It's now 11:50 CST and it's time to allow my body and mind some rest. The Lord is good and I know that He is with me through this tough time. With His strength, I know I'll make it through and actually have the ability to look forward to the coming days.