Sleepless Nights

Once again, it's been quite a while since I've waxed a bit of poetic here on the blog. It's about midnight and I currently find myself in the middle of a whirlwind travel schedule that takes me all over the country and to Haiti. I've been laying in bed and I feel frustrated as tonight is another one of those "hard to sleep" nights. I can't seem to get all of the things going on in my head to take a break for a while. In the end, I guess this is a good thing as I can remember a day when I had nothing from losing everything. I prayed that God would allow me to find something I enjoyed and could excel at and He gave it to me. As a result, I find myself alone in a hotel room in Orlando, FL in the middle of a massive travel schedule. The Lord works in mysterious ways - especially in my life.

It's times like these that make me wonder what the Lord has in store for me down the road. What lies around the next corner? What's beyond the horizon? Where will my girls go to college? What's in store for me and my career? Will there be another woman in my life? Will I be content to be a single father for the rest of my days? These are questions that I find myself asking the Lord in the quietness of my thoughts in the middle of sleepless nights.

For now, I'm content with where He has me and what He continues to do in my life and the people that He brings in and out of it. I'm grateful to Him. I'm humbled from being humbled. And I'm anxious in His timing, yet I know His timing is perfect. It always has been with me. I'm happy with where He's allowed me to come and grow in my spiritual walk. The people He has allowed me to align with have been, in my eyes, specifically chosen by the Lord for my growth and healing. For that, I'm grateful.

So in essence as I write this to myself, I guess I'm thankful for the sleepless nights and moments of contemplation to be able to slow down and be still and just think. Maybe I shouldn't be so frustrated after all (except for with the couple next door)!