Brain Tumor!

Today is another day at the Public Library where I can be online and search for jobs. I really didn't plan on writing anything here today, but I'm tired of chasing job opportunities down dead-end streets. Therefore, I gave up for today due to frustration and a throbbing headache (I think due to finally needing reading glasses - I'm officially old!). Thus, I write.

At 3:00 CST today, my friend and business cohort Brandon Musser will be in surgery to try and remove a fatal tumor in his brain. He's 27 years old and a wonderful man of God and a very talented IT and graphic design professional. This was all so sudden and is a shock due to how vibrant and alive he's been. It also makes me re-evaluate my current situation and where I currently am in life. I'm 42 years old, in very good health, am arguably as fit as I've ever been in my life, have 3 amazing children that think I'm still the creator of all things cool, and I have many people around me that continuously pray for me. Why then do I concentrate on the negative? I could certainly be in a much worse position. I could be where Brandon is literally fighting for my life! Yet I complain and get depressed over not currently having a job! This real-life perspective makes me feel selfish and self-centered. Another way of the Lord allowing me to see the true life perspective of my situation and to force me to rely on Him for all my needs. My unemployment situation will eventually work itself out. Brandon's health situation may not. I must remember, "There but for the grace of God go I."

I trust that the Lord knows what He's doing in all of this. He has a plan for my life going forward and I want to fully trust in Him in that regard. He has a plan for Brandon's life as well and no matter the outcome in all of this, God will get the glory!

Please pray for Brandon and his family.

Now it's time for me to get out of this place. I've been here too long and far too often. I'm turning into a weird and eclectic librarian!

The Coming Days

At the time that I'm writing this, I currently sit in the public library where things are quiet, I can be online and check email, and just think. I'm sitting at my usual table in a corner next to a floor to ceiling length window where I can view the outside and feel somewhat connected to it. There's an unusual amount of snow on the ground that brightens up everything outside. It's calm, still, and quiet out there. Yet, there's still the movement and motion of the birds and squirrels going about their daily business of looking for food as if there were no change in the landscape.

I'll be honest, I sit here quietly very unnerved. I know in whom I belong and I know where my strength comes from. As I get older, I also have realized that my faith continues to grow. I need to continue to draw from that more than ever right now! I feel, in life, God allows us to go through and endure certain things that we may not currently understand but need to have faith in knowing that we are in His hands and under His timing. That's the tough part and that's where I currently reside. I'm in a professional transitional state and I need the Lord to show up and intervene in a mighty way - and I know that He will! I just have to trust in His will and timing.

I've had so many blessing throughout my life and I've had so many people that God has brought my way to help me tremendously. I know He won't let me go and I know that He has something just around the corner in order to use me for His will. I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm able! I just want to go where He is already working.

Pray for me and the coming days.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.
(Ephesians 3:20-21)