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Being Thankful

2011-09-28T09:46:00.002-05:00

This morning, my bible study challenged me to think of some every day small things that I may take for granted but that I should be thankful for. It caused me to think and examine my life and current circumstances.

After living in Tennessee for over 21 years, I finally packed up my stuff and moved back to Florida where I grew up. I left behind memories, hurts, mistakes, friends, family, and even my daughters who are now grown-ups and in the working/academic world. This was one of the toughest decisions that I've ever had to make, yet I've never been more sure of a life decision in my life. I can't describe the feeling of "just knowing" it was the right thing to do. I believe that God truly laid it on my heart and has guided my steps in this direction for a serious purpose. For that, I'm thankful.

That brings me back to the initial question of; what are the small things that I need to be thankful for? First and foremost, I'm thankful for my life and my health. I'm greatly thankful for my wonderful children that I don't get to see enough of. And I'm immensely thankful for the amazing woman in my life that has caused me to see things, life, and myself so drastically different.

God has a continued plan for my life and I know that I'm a continuous work in progress for Him. Life has new meaning and purpose and for all of this, I'm thankful.

Picking Back Up

2011-07-05T14:22:00.005-05:00

In the past, I've done some intensive blogging about a bunch of different things. Mostly as an outlet to get what was inside out. Lately, through the events that have caused a significant life change and re-focus on my personal and professional life, I've been compelled to pick it back up. Through the inspiration of some friends and co-workers (Daniel White), and with working more in the athletics and fitness side of my job, I'm thinking of jumping back in to the blogging foray. Mainly as a documentation to be able to refer back to when I'm helping other people with their training and/or nutrition.

Pretty soon, I'll be transitioning locations and ramping up my work with FH World Sports in working with athletes that compete in races for worthy causes. These are both pro athletes and regular weekend warriors that have a heart to help the poor and impoverished through raising funds for a multitude of different causes. This is some wonderful and tangibly rewarding work that I'm passionate about spreading to a wider audience.

If you're interested in tips for training, training programs, nutrition advice, competing in a race and raising money for a cause, advice on gear, etc., contact me here. I would love to help AND help people in need in other parts of the world at the same time. Let's make a small difference to make a big impact.

Graduation Day

2011-05-20T09:36:00.006-05:00

Today is a bitter/sweet day for me. Today I travel down to Montgomery, AL to attend the high school graduation of my twins Shelby and Taylor. I'm excited for them. They are about to embark on another journey that will take them into their adult life and career. I'm also excited that they will be living with me over the summer, and that's something that I've been wanting and praying for since 2008 when I was divorced. It was their decision to want to live with their Dad and that makes it even that much sweeter! I can't wait!

I'm also a bit sad because in this monumental time, I can't help but reflect back on what my "babies" have meant to me, what I've partially put them through, how they've endured, and where they are now. I think to myself (like every parent), "where did the time go?" They're all grown up and they aren't the little premature twins that I could literally hold in the palms of my hands anymore. They are beautiful, smart, responsible, charming young women. I certainly don't feel responsible for that in them and I can only praise the Lord above that He has given me such a wonderful and special gift.

Today is a day of celebration, joy, and anticipation for what's ahead. The past is behind me. Past mistakes can't be undone. I can only learn from what I've done and continue to teach my girls the lessons that I've learned the hard way in hopes to protect them from the perils I've endured.

Thank you God for such a joy that you've given me in Shelby and Taylor. I am not worthy of such a beautiful gift!

Reflection

2010-11-29T15:54:00.003-06:00

It's officially the holiday season! The commercials all scream of shopping and Christmas cheer, the music that's heard is normally some type of Christmas music, and there's a certain seeming change of attitude in people. People seem to be more joyful, more giving, even more philanthropic. I too would get caught up in all of the seasonal changes and cheer. However, just under 3 years ago, I found myself in the middle of a horrific divorce. The Christmas season, for me, has sadly taken on a whole different meaning and feel. I try to get into the spirit of the season. I try to have the holiday cheer. And I try to be the jolly 'ol TC. But the fact remains, I no longer have my children for Christmas. I no longer have my family and the traditions that we made. I no longer have that Christmas spirit.

This time two years ago, I was sitting at a friends house alone for the whole holiday. No kids, no wife, no extended family, no money, gone through bankruptcy, lost my house, no job, and very depressed. I was just about as low as I could've imagined. It was then that I began to contemplate taking my own life for the second time. I don't exactly know what it was that kept me from following through with it. I could've done it and been successful! Nevertheless, I didn't. I guess the Lord was purposefully sparing my life for some reason. I made it through that dark period, but not without some serious scars that come to light at this time every year. The Lord led me through that forrest in spite of myself because now I can see what He had in store.

I now have been on the road to recovery for quite some time and continue down a healthy path to this day. I have a great job that has great meaning and kingdom work, I'm slowly recovering financially, I no longer live a life of depression, and I love the relationship that I have with my children and my Lord and Savior. Things in my life are no where close to being in a perfect place. . . or even remotely close for that matter. However, I'm focusing on positive things, people, and relationships in my life that the Lord brings across my path and I'm grateful daily for these small "life gifts" even though the Christmas holiday is still very painful.

Christmas has now become a time of reflection for me instead of a time of tidings and good cheer. It's still very painful to navigate through this season, but as time passes and life continues to cause me to change and evolve, I continue to progress and heal. One day, I believe that I will have the "fairytale" Christmas setting that I've built in my mind. A wonderful, amazing, and supportive wife and partner, a modest place that we both call home and can celebrate what the holiday truly means, and internal peace and happiness. I know the Lord has this in my future. Otherwise, He wouldn't have laid it on my heart.

To all that see this, I wish you a very merry Christmas and may the Lord bless and keep you in His will.

Port au Prince, Haiti

2010-10-03T19:27:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, October 2nd, 2010, I returned home from an international trip to Haiti with my work for Food for the Hungry. I've been on many overseas trips and missions trips as well. However, this one was unlike any that I've ever experienced. My job with FH is relational. I deal with music and entertainment artists that speak on behalf of our organization and for children and communities in need. This past weekend I accompanied a pastor/author named Palmer Chinchen to Port au Prince, Haiti to let him view what it is that we do on the ground in the fields. I wasn't prepared for the complete and sheer devastation that I saw in this disaster torn country. As resilient and loving as these people still are, they are still completely crushed and devastated from the earthquake almost a year ago.

I've always believed in the work that we as an organization do in communities around world, but there is still so much need for us as a people and a nation to be the hands and feet of our Lord. The situation there is daunting!

I witnessed a child dying from Typhoid fever, a pastor that had lost his child the morning of our arrival to their community, yet he was still concerned for us and his people. I saw women and men walking up and down a mountain for hours every day just to get a bucket of unclean water. I saw children that only eat once a day and are perpetually hungry. It's sad. It's devastating. It's emotionally draining, and it's hard to process! If anything, it has greatly put my life and personal situation into perspective and has changed me. It's changed me for good! It's made me look at "non-eternal" things quite differently - and that, for me, is growth!

Letter To Grandma

2010-09-28T21:26:00.000-05:00

September 22, 2010

Grandma,

At 4:30 am this morning, I got word from my brother that you passed away and went on to be with Jesus and leave your pain and illness behind. I just wanted to write to you this one last time to tell you how sorry I am for my past selfishness and pride in our somewhat distant relationship as I grew from a boy to a man. We had different views on things. You showed favoritism at times and you were tough on me occasionally. However, it wasn't until I went through my divorce that you became the Grandma that I hadn't previously experienced. You loved me, you loved your great grandchildren, and you even continued to love Ashley. Thank you for being a model of selflessness and understanding to an otherwise selfish and tormented guy. You seemed to understand my plight without even having to verbally dig deep. You just knew through your own experiences and wisdom. You selflessly helped me financially through my divorce process and never batted an eye - even when I wasn't able to see you face to face to say thank you.

Grandma, I was never able to say the things that I felt inside to you, but I want you to know that you were a huge influence in my life. You passed things down to me that I still use to this day and for that I thank you.

After getting word this morning and doing the round of calls while walking up and down Wilshire Blvd. in Los Angeles, I came back to my room in the Wilshire Hotel on the 9th floor and it was quiet and peaceful - reflective in fact. I opened the drapes to the windows and let in the overcast and dreary day. All that I could hear was the noise of the cars on the street below. But then it happened. I gentle peaceful message from the Lord to sooth my sorrowful soul. At that moment, a street musician playing a trumpet started warming up. After a short time of warm-up, he began to play the song "Amazing Grace". It (and a new special friend) made me think of the lyrics to the song that go, "Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease, I shall possess within the veil, a life of joy and peace." Was that a message from you to me as you were on your way to meet Jesus? Was that the Lord speaking directly to me? Whatever the case, I got the message loud and clear! It proved to be a pivotal, emotional, and releasing moment for me. Thank you for the timely and peaceful message. I'll now not be able to hear that great traditional hymn without thinking of this moment and of you. Oh the greatness of our Lord and Savior!

Thank you for your life and what it meant to so many. Thank you for all of the things that you passed down through my mother that will live on through me! I love you very much and I regret not telling you that enough. Please forgive me. Until I see you again soon in the great by and by, you will be greatly missed.

Love always,

Your first grandson, Todd

Sleepless Nights

2010-09-12T07:14:00.001-05:00

Once again, it's been quite a while since I've waxed a bit of poetic here on the blog. It's about midnight and I currently find myself in the middle of a whirlwind travel schedule that takes me all over the country and to Haiti. I've been laying in bed and I feel frustrated as tonight is another one of those "hard to sleep" nights. I can't seem to get all of the things going on in my head to take a break for a while. In the end, I guess this is a good thing as I can remember a day when I had nothing from losing everything. I prayed that God would allow me to find something I enjoyed and could excel at and He gave it to me. As a result, I find myself alone in a hotel room in Orlando, FL in the middle of a massive travel schedule. The Lord works in mysterious ways - especially in my life.

It's times like these that make me wonder what the Lord has in store for me down the road. What lies around the next corner? What's beyond the horizon? Where will my girls go to college? What's in store for me and my career? Will there be another woman in my life? Will I be content to be a single father for the rest of my days? These are questions that I find myself asking the Lord in the quietness of my thoughts in the middle of sleepless nights.

For now, I'm content with where He has me and what He continues to do in my life and the people that He brings in and out of it. I'm grateful to Him. I'm humbled from being humbled. And I'm anxious in His timing, yet I know His timing is perfect. It always has been with me. I'm happy with where He's allowed me to come and grow in my spiritual walk. The people He has allowed me to align with have been, in my eyes, specifically chosen by the Lord for my growth and healing. For that, I'm grateful.

So in essence as I write this to myself, I guess I'm thankful for the sleepless nights and moments of contemplation to be able to slow down and be still and just think. Maybe I shouldn't be so frustrated after all (except for with the couple next door)!

Letting Go

2010-08-23T22:30:00.003-05:00

It's Monday night. It's beginning to get cool at night and that seems to be a welcome consensus due to the sweltering heat bearing down on us for the past months. Football was on tonight which is another indication that fall is just around the corner. I continue to settle in to what my position is at Food for the Hungry and I love what I do, who I work with, and the humanitarian good that goes with the job. I'm grateful that God has answered my prayer in that area. He continues to strengthen me and shine new light on spiritual questions that I've had for so many years. I continue to grow and see that God is good, merciful, loving, and most of all (with me), patient.

Why then am I somewhat sad in other areas? I think the Lord is still trying to speak to me quite loudly in other areas. I have been divorced for almost 3 years from a woman that rightfully despises me. She took away my children and moved to another state so that I don't have access to them as I used to. That, in many ways, makes me feel so inadequate as a father. In many respects, a failure in fact. I don't get to see them in many school activities, church functions, family get-togethers, swim meets, or volleyball games. It seems I miss out on everything and therefore I feel I'm missing out on their life. As my beloved girls grow older, I feel as if they're growing into women that I no longer know. Do I really know them? Do they know me? Do they WANT to know me? I feel as if a piece of myself is missing and I don't really know what to do about it.

Additionally, due to the fact of my immense failure in being a husband with truth and integrity, I feel unable to adequately be in a true loving relationship. Even with a woman that I've found that I dearly love and want to be with, I can't seem to give myself over to her. I have walls that I myself can't even seem to tear down! I have failed so miserably once, and adversely affected so many people's lives, that I (evidently) can't bring myself to failing so ruthlessly again. And in turn, that only proves to make for worse problems.

I say all of that to say this. I feel that God is telling me to let things go. Stop holding on and gripping so tightly the last few things that mean so much to me. The Lord is impressing upon me to give to Him my children. Let Him take control of that situation and how the future unfolds. He's telling me to let go of the woman that I love dearly. She's securely in His hands now and I need to trust in that - whatever the outcome and whatever His timing.

I've given over everything else in my life to the Lord except those last two things and He's done some amazing things thus far. However, God says that He wants ALL of me. Not 99.9%, but 100%! And that includes the loves of my life; my children and the woman of my dreams.

I must continue to let go in order to continue to grow.

New Relationships

2010-08-17T22:24:00.003-05:00

It's 10:24 pm and I am gearing down to go to sleep after a full day of meetings at the job that I'm so grateful for! It's also been quite a long time since I've updated this blog and after meeting with a new friend (Daniel White or @GOAdaniel), I've been inspired to do some periodical updating. Not necessarily to "live my life on the web," but instead to be able to go back and see exactly where I was. Plus, there's a therapeutic aspect to getting your thoughts out on "paper" and some positive accountability that goes along with that. I like that and need that!

My new friend Daniel is a wonderful guy and has a HUGE heart! That was apparent within the first 5 minutes of us sitting down and discussing both business and personal matters. We have much in common and I can tell he's a deep well that I can draw from.

Follow him through his blog or on twitter. He's got great perspective on life, spirituality, family, etc. He's actually one of those guys that has something substantial to say. I like that too.

Personal Update:

Since joining Food for the Hungry as their Artist Representative, it's been a crazy, hectic, wild, but enjoyable ride. I'm learning so much and really enjoy who I work for and with. It is, once again, proof of how the Lord knows exactly what we need and answers prayer according to His timing and will. I'm looking forward to many more years of being in the ministerial work of Food for the Hungry and I count it a privilege to get to tangibly see the effect of the work that I'm a part of. It's greatly rewarding and deeply spiritual.

Until next time.

The Passing of a Friend

2010-05-28T12:08:00.004-05:00

Today is May 28, 2010. This past Tuesday the very best friend in the whole world to my twin girls (Shelby & Taylor - age 17) passed away from severe head trauma attained from a freak car accident. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to have to sit back and watch the pain of my children affect just about every area of their lives. I could do nothing outside of try and be there for them and love on them. I couldn't relate to their loss because I've never had a close loved one or best friend die a tragic death. I didn't know what to say. . . I didn't know what to do!

The past few years have been a great struggle for all three of my little angels. They have endured the pain of their parents' divorce, living with an understandably bitter and searching mother, their lives being turned upside down by moving away from the only home they've ever known, and now this! What is God saying in all of this? What is God teaching in all of this? In fact, where IS God in all of this? I don't know and I can't see it and quite honestly, I'm hurt and angry! I'm angry for my ailing children. I'm angry with myself because I feel that some of their hurt has been caused by me and my past actions. Are these the consequences that I have to live with and they have to suffer from? Why can't I just fix it? Why can't I just be the one to atone for all my wrongs and mistakes. Why can't I just protect my girls from this sort of pain and turmoil? Just WHY?

Today is the funeral for their friend Hannah Ridling. I knew Hannah because the twins so loved her that they wanted to bring her with them on a visit to Tennessee from Alabama to meet their Daddy. She was a sweet, wonderful, vivacious, lively, and outgoing child. She always loved to laugh and smile with a warm compassionate heart. She was very polite and respectful to adults and always wanted to please others. Even though Hannah's funeral is in Montgomery, Alabama, today in Franklin, TN is noticeably gloomy and quiet. There are no birds chirping and singing outside my office window. It's noticeably quiet today (especially for late Spring) - almost as if nature and the Lord is respecting a wonderful life lost on earth. Hopefully one day, we'll see and understand the good that God will bring from this tragedy. But until then, I choose to believe that God loved that child so much that He wanted her to be with Him this very moment. I'm sure she's in Heaven laughing with Jesus and looking down on all the ones that love and miss her so greatly.

She will be missed - especially by the Collins girls! May she rest in the peace of the Lord and may her family find comfort in Christ.

Hannah Ridling - 1994-2010

Getting Acclimated

2010-03-18T09:59:00.007-05:00

It's Thursday and today is the fourth day of my new position at Food for the Hungry as their newest Artist Rep. So far, it's been a whirlwind of conference calls and instant messaging with the corporate office, getting acclimated to the business protocol, setting up my office space, etc. Everyone I've talked to has been unbelievable and the common thread that I've noticed is that everyone seems to be genuinely in love with what they do and the cause it stands for. These are some incredibly and truly compassionate people! I'm anxious to continue to learn from them and glean as much knowledge as possible. I have a ton on my plate and am looking forward to getting in the trenches with my colleagues.

I'll be working with artists and anyone involved in the entertainment industry while also doing a fair amount of domestic and international travel. All for the cause of helping others in the name of Christ! What a great and humbling responsibility!

My Mom used to say to my brother and me when we were young, "Be careful what you pray for. You just may get it." Well, this is a perfect example of this coming true. This whole job situation has been what I asked the Lord for and He has gone above and beyond every one of my expectations. He truly knows the heart of His children and knows our needs. I'm learning that more and more every day.

Knowing the Heart

2010-03-03T14:14:00.004-06:00

It amazes me how, when you live righteously and upright, God will bless that. He promises that in His word. I guess I've never truly grasped that concept in my heart. I've always heard it and had the head knowledge, but it's never really taken hold in my heart. . . until now, that is.

You see, in the past, I've done my fair share of deceiving, running, hiding, etc. I don't really know why. I was certainly not brought up that way and I don't have those core values. However, that's how I was during a critical period in my life. Critical for my children, that is. The beautiful thing about our Lord and Savior is that He forgives unconditionally if asked. There's never an alloted amount and you can never run out of times that He'll forgive. Nothing we can do can separate us from His love and forgiveness. That's a wonderful feeling when you truly know that in your heart. I've been on a long, arduous, and painful journey to get the this point of truly knowing, but I just know. How do I know? I can't explain it other than it's deep in my heart and soul. I know that He is watching over me. I know that He cares for me. I know that He will provide for me. And I know that He'll never leave me.

Lately, God has been truly blessing me in very small ways by answering subtle prayers that I've been praying for for quite a while. I've been diligent in trying to wait on His timing and He has begun to bless me for that. I know that the Lord is about to open the floodgates of blessing for me personally. I know He's about to use me as a tool for His glory in a mighty way and I'm ready, willing, and excited.

He's blessed me already in so many different ways and for that, I'm thankful.

Grains of Sand

2010-02-25T14:02:00.003-06:00

I wanted to take this time to say thank you to all of my family and close friends that have helped me, fed me, encouraged me, and most importantly prayed for me through my tough time of transition in searching for a job. The Lord has blessed me with a dream job that I can't be more excited about! I feel as if there's a whole new start awaiting me.

I'm happy to report that I accepted a job offer of Artist Representative for the global relief organization called Food for the Hungry. It is a ministry-oriented job that I feel that Lord has called me to and I can't wait to get started on March 15, 2010. The Lord has heard my desperate cries and the prayers of so many of you that have been standing in the gap on my behalf. God is good and today is the beginning of something powerful and exciting for His glory!

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support. Especially the few that have been so close to me and embraced me in such a time of need. You've truly exemplified the meaning of being a follower of Christ and have proven to be a great testimony to my life. I love you!

Psalms 129:17-18

No Game Winning Shot!

2010-02-24T14:49:00.004-06:00

First of all, let me start by saying God is good. In the past 2 years, the Lord has taught me a lot about waiting on Him and His timing. This is a huge lesson for me that I continue to grow in because I've always been this competitive type to want to take things in my own hands and fix them or work things out on my terms and timing. When you feel in control enough to "win the game" or directly effect the outcome of a certain circumstance, it's hard to change that mentality into one of humility and complete faith in the Lord. I've had the opportunity of learning this valuable lesson the hard way because I'm a hard-head! It took the Lord hitting me over the head with life to realize that I'm really not that in control and that put together. He's finally got me exactly where He wants me. I'm finally to a place of full submission and readiness for what He has in store and it's taken me all this time to get there. For that Lord, I'm sorry. It's been a long journey and yet still a long way to go. However, I'm in a good place right now and truly ready for God's will to finally take hold.

I feel that God has something great in store for me that just around the corner and some really great prospects in the works for me professionally in a time when so many are struggling. Is it something amazingly lucrative? No! But it seems to be so valuable on a human and eternal level. It seems to be a place in which God is doing a great work and I hope it is in His will to have me join Him where He is. Pray for me, my family, and my friends that have helped support me along this journey. I feel good about the prospects of turning the professional corner into the next chapter. I've gotten good feedback along the way and my gut/spirit is sending me good signals. Let's just pray that that is the Lord's still small voice and not my human hopes building up.

Training has been slow and steady, but tough. I'm truly ready for Spring so I can get outside and enjoy my time with friends and my time with Him. So many dreams and goals to go after!

A Birthday Wish

2010-02-19T10:53:00.003-06:00

Today is (obviously) February 19th. It's a special day because 17 years ago today, my then wife gave birth to our twin girls Shelby and Taylor. Today is a bitter sweet day for me. It's sweet in the fact that I love my girls more than anything and I have a truly special relationship with them that I'm blessed with. It's so undeserving yet I'm grateful for God's amazing grace. It's bitter because I no longer get to see my angels on a daily basis. I've been divorced for more than two years now and my former wife and all three of my children moved away to another state. I only get to see my kids sporadically and I so desperately hurt when I'm not with them and getting to see them grow up and develop in to wonderful Godly women. It's bitter because I don't get to be with them on this special day. And it's bitter because I still harbor quite a bit of guilt in playing a major role in the drastic change in their lives. I don't know that I'll ever truly get over that. In many ways, it motivates me to be a better man and father. It causes me to continue to grow in a way that I never want to be the person I was.

There's so much that I want for my little girls that are growing up so quickly. There's so much that still have to say and teach to them. There's so much life that I need to live with them! There's still a lot left for me and so much room for improvement. They are my motivation. They are the reason for who (and who's) I am. They are my life and my loves!

Happy birthday girls! You are truly a gift on loan to your Mommy and I from the Lord above. I hope this birthday is a wonderful one because your next one will be the best one ever! Daddy promises!

Farming

2010-02-15T10:36:00.003-06:00

Instead of writing this long dissertation about how I agree with this point of view and try and put it in my own words, here's another excerpt from my man Donald Miller's blog (follow his blog. You'll love it!). Some amazing thought provoking and intelligent insight. Thank you Donald!

So my question to you is, what’s your field, and are you plowing it? Are you plowing too little? Are you plowing too much? What’s your sweet spot, and in ten years, will you have a small orchard that can feed your family and some of your friends? What’s your land to toil?

1. If you have a family, if you are married with kids, that’s a field to plow. If a larger field is calling you away from your family field, then you don’t have it in you to plow it, so let it go. Your family comes first. Further the plot in that story. Get your wife some flowers, go fishing with your kids, plow the field God has given you. Andy Stanley says that in life, your family is going to suffer or your work is going to suffer, so choose. Your work life are those three rows of beans, the rest is your family, I think, and the work rows can’t replace the family rows.

2. Plow the field God gave you. This is going to be a bit controversial, but I’m just going to say it. God gave you a heart, a wellspring of delight and desire. That heart can be corrupted, for sure, but God also speaks to you and through you through that heart. If you are given an amazing opportunity to become rich and famous, but you aren’t looking forward to the work, ask yourself if God put a heart inside you to do that work. If not, let it go, no matter what the cost. Now here I’m going to get really controversial: If you have an opportunity to “build God’s kingdom” in some massive way, but the work is like pulling teeth, I think you have to really ask yourself if that is what God is calling you to do. There are times (Jonah) when the problem isn’t the work, it’s you. But there are also times when the problem is the work itself, namely that the work just isn’t for you. I firmly believe that God calls people into work, gives them a heart to do things, that seem to have nothing to do with the kingdom, and furthermore, nobody will ever be able to figure out why it is God would have them do it. Except this: Nothing speaks more powerfully than a person who has been set free to do the work he loves. There’s some gospel truth in there somewhere. I like to look at it this way, I pray and ask God “where the wind is blowing.” If the wind is blowing in a Christian book that helps people’s faith, I write that book, and if the wind is blowing on a novel that has nothing to do with faith at all, I write that book, and I’m free and I love it and I thank God he gave me the work and let me do what I love.

3. You will have to work with consistency and faithfulness. A farmer farms a field, and if he misses a week of work, everything falls apart. If the seeds aren’t in the ground when the rain comes, the crops don’t grow. Our faith is not about magic, it’s about partnering with God to see remarkable things happen through faithfulness and consistency over a long-period of time. If we buy into the instant-results mindset of our culture (that is depressed and confused itself) we will become very frustrated with God. God has a system for growing food. If one farmer does no work, but prays and sings to God, and another farmer does work, and does not pray or sing to God, then the farmer who prayed will starve and the farmer who worked will eat, because even though the second farmer didn’t acknowledge God, he understood God’s ways and he adhered to the principles God created. The first farmer was just looking for a magic show.

4. Stop measuring your crops. This is a tough one for me. I confess I check to see how many retweets I’ve had or comments on blogs, but none of this has anything to do with farming. I’d much rather fall in love with my work, and get up and do it for the works sake than do it for the notoriety. To be honest, no number I’ve seen online has pleased me. Never. But you know what has consistently brought me pleasure, sitting down and having written a good little story. Fame is fickle, and it will come and go. If you associate your identity with the fashion trends of a fickle public, you are going to go insane. I’m leaning to keep my head down and plow my field.

Provision

2010-02-12T14:01:00.003-06:00

This is going to be a short Friday post.

I just wanted to jot down my feeling that when I hurt, I can handle it. I can deal with it. I can make myself feel that I can make it through. However, when someone in my family hurts, I take it much more harshly. It's hard for me to loose that burden. I carry it heavily. Why do I say this? It's because I see that the one person that I've known the longest and that I love so dearly is struggling. It's my brother. I struggle with knowing that he's hurting inside while outwardly being the strong Godly man that I always know him to be. He too will make it through what is presently a season. For me, I must still trust that the Lord will provide for he and his family that I so dearly love.

Pray for my brother and his family as he navigates some uncomfortable times. Sometimes God allows us to become uncomfortable to ultimately find comfort in Him.

Brain Tumor!

2010-02-10T11:21:00.004-06:00

Today is another day at the Public Library where I can be online and search for jobs. I really didn't plan on writing anything here today, but I'm tired of chasing job opportunities down dead-end streets. Therefore, I gave up for today due to frustration and a throbbing headache (I think due to finally needing reading glasses - I'm officially old!). Thus, I write.

At 3:00 CST today, my friend and business cohort Brandon Musser will be in surgery to try and remove a fatal tumor in his brain. He's 27 years old and a wonderful man of God and a very talented IT and graphic design professional. This was all so sudden and is a shock due to how vibrant and alive he's been. It also makes me re-evaluate my current situation and where I currently am in life. I'm 42 years old, in very good health, am arguably as fit as I've ever been in my life, have 3 amazing children that think I'm still the creator of all things cool, and I have many people around me that continuously pray for me. Why then do I concentrate on the negative? I could certainly be in a much worse position. I could be where Brandon is literally fighting for my life! Yet I complain and get depressed over not currently having a job! This real-life perspective makes me feel selfish and self-centered. Another way of the Lord allowing me to see the true life perspective of my situation and to force me to rely on Him for all my needs. My unemployment situation will eventually work itself out. Brandon's health situation may not. I must remember, "There but for the grace of God go I."

I trust that the Lord knows what He's doing in all of this. He has a plan for my life going forward and I want to fully trust in Him in that regard. He has a plan for Brandon's life as well and no matter the outcome in all of this, God will get the glory!

Please pray for Brandon and his family.

Now it's time for me to get out of this place. I've been here too long and far too often. I'm turning into a weird and eclectic librarian!

Perfect Timing

2010-02-09T11:15:00.006-06:00

Today, it is snowing AGAIN! School is out today and people around here seem to freak out when there's some snow flurries in the air. It's truly ridiculous. I hate the snow and cold weather. I'm a Florida boy through and through! However, with the snow and cold weather comes a certain tranquility and peace that forces me to kind of stop and reflect on what's going on in my life. In the past few years, things have been chaotic to say the least. I have been more uncertain and uneasy about my life and the future than I've ever been. I've had to come to the conclusion of either being my own man and turning from God, or completely submit to Him and leave behind my selfish ways and actions that have hurt so many in past years. I decided years ago to completely submit to Christ for the rest of my days. With this decision being made, things have certainly not been easy. In fact, the Lord says that the life of a Christ-follower won't be easy. But then, Jesus' life wasn't easy either. I believe this is God's way of truly seeing if I'm willing to put my full faith and trust in Him. I'll be honest - it's hard some days. It's tough believing that God is in ultimate control of His children and that we must have total faith in Him and His perfect timing. That's a hard thing for me to grasp hold of in the midst of turmoil, unsettledness, and uncertainty. I'm pathetically flawed and human!

I will say this though. The Lord has brought me through some amazing things. Things I never thought I would have the strength to endure, yet I did. He has aligned me with some people that I never thought could love and support me the way that they have, yet I'm still around. This, to me, is the Lord's way of saying, "Trust in me and my timing and I will show you that you can count on me along the way." These people that He's allowed me to come in contact with have been little nuggets of peace to get me to His ultimate destination - whatever that may be.

Currently, I'm in job-hunting mode and looking for just about anything I can find. I'm also waiting to hear back from a job that I desperately want and could do extremely well. It seems as though it's all been divinely lined up, but then I've also been in waiting for over 3 weeks! Is this God's way of testing my faith in Him and in His timing? Or is this me wanting this position so bad that I am concocting this all in my head? Whatever the case, the bottom line is I must have 100% faith in the Lord and know that His timing is seldom early, never late, but always perfect. I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

My twitter update this morning said this: "What you focus on is what you will see. Expect God's goodness." That's easy to read and write, but harder to truly let sink in. I'm getting it!

My urgent prayer has been to finally settle in and have some stability in my life. For myself, for my friends and support group, but mostly for my children. I'm ready to fall into a "life groove" so I can live out my life with peace and be able to make a difference for His kingdom. I'm also ready to get back to a normal routine of training. I greatly miss the consistency!

Up and Down

2010-02-05T10:29:00.004-06:00

Today I'm posting an excerpt from my brother, Troy's blog. Honestly, I don't have much to say and I certainly can't do better than this! Troy is my family, my rock, my Godly wisdom, my confidant, and the person I feel God placed on this earth to watch over me so I don't destroy myself. The older I get, the more I realize this and am grateful. How can someone take on the burden of someone else yet knowingly not be able to do anything to help other than pray? Now that, to me, is Christ-like! I love my brother. Always have and forever will.

This week started out in the ditch. You see, here's the thing, I've been sharing a burden with my brother about his job. That's been an emotional push this whole week and there have been ups and downs. In fact the job was supposed to have been filled (one way or the other) on Monday. Long story, but that's STILL yet to be determined, but I'm likening this process to a marathon race. At first you're up to the challenge, then after a while you get very weary of it, and then finally (I'm here at this step), you just keep going forward and are completely numb. Is it wrong to care so much about something you have no control over? Is it wrong to care so much for someone that you love and only want to see catch just ONE break this decade? I can pontificate all day about rights, fairness, and justice, but above all else, there is that underlying quiet element that trumps 'em all - God's sovereignty. God has a plan for my brother to succeed, prosper, and be at peace. All of this pinned up anxiety and stress means something, but WHAT!?! We'll know when we're supposed to, so until then, I pray. I've done better this week in letting it go fully. Monday and Tuesday were a wreck. Wednesday was better and family and their love played a HUGE part in that.

The Journey

2010-02-04T13:48:00.006-06:00

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize

It is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.

God is going to shift things around for you

and let things work in your favor.

I believe this to be true and I confess that I have faith that God sees all, knows all, and IS all. I believe that He knows me and knows my future and has some incredible things in store! Keep praying for me.

Now off to train!

The Coming Days

2010-02-02T11:21:00.005-06:00

At the time that I'm writing this, I currently sit in the public library where things are quiet, I can be online and check email, and just think. I'm sitting at my usual table in a corner next to a floor to ceiling length window where I can view the outside and feel somewhat connected to it. There's an unusual amount of snow on the ground that brightens up everything outside. It's calm, still, and quiet out there. Yet, there's still the movement and motion of the birds and squirrels going about their daily business of looking for food as if there were no change in the landscape.

I'll be honest, I sit here quietly very unnerved. I know in whom I belong and I know where my strength comes from. As I get older, I also have realized that my faith continues to grow. I need to continue to draw from that more than ever right now! I feel, in life, God allows us to go through and endure certain things that we may not currently understand but need to have faith in knowing that we are in His hands and under His timing. That's the tough part and that's where I currently reside. I'm in a professional transitional state and I need the Lord to show up and intervene in a mighty way - and I know that He will! I just have to trust in His will and timing.

I've had so many blessing throughout my life and I've had so many people that God has brought my way to help me tremendously. I know He won't let me go and I know that He has something just around the corner in order to use me for His will. I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm able! I just want to go where He is already working.

Pray for me and the coming days.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.
(Ephesians 3:20-21)

Snowed In!

2010-01-30T14:52:00.004-06:00

Enjoying some family time with my brother's family and my Dad in whom rarely visits Tennessee. It just so happens that we're severely snowed in which forces us to visit with each other. Great and relaxing family time.

The picture is of my Dad and nephew (Troy's son, and the only Collins boy in our family) Corban Collins. The other picture is 6-7 unheard inches of snow on the ground in Franklin, TN. Our area is literally shut down!

Earthly Fulfillment

2010-01-28T10:35:00.003-06:00

Will Jesus fulfill us here on earth? from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

An amazing, insightful, yet simplistic view of the Christian life and our earthly fulfillment coming from Donald Miller. This guy never ceases to amaze me with the depth of his views yet he makes them so easy to understand. I hope you agree.

This video lasts for a bit more than 5 minutes but well worth the viewing.

Doing Things His Way

2010-01-27T11:23:00.004-06:00

Isaiah 55:9 states, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

This was my morning devotion and it really hit me hard! It talked about every person having a dream. Something that they're believing for and like I mention yesterday, many times those things don't pan out just how you envision them. I know for me, I've spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do next, where I can go, what's on the horizon, how I can re-invent myself. That's putting God in a box by me limiting what He can do for me and through me if I just put my faith in Him. That's an easy thing to say and a really tough thing to put into practice when you're thrust into "survival mode." I guess that's where the Lord wants me to be. Completely and totally dependent on Him for survival. Well, guess what - I'm there!

However, throughout my three year process of being separated and divorced, I've continuously prayed for wisdom and peace. My parents used to tell me, "Be careful what you pray for. You just may get it." As far as the wisdom part, I'm not real sure I'm on that train. But I HAVE been given a certain peace throughout this whole process - especially in the events of the last two months. God has been seriously stirring in the depths of my soul. I have this feeling deep down that He has something out there that's just around the corner. Something that is significant to my skill sets and something in which I can be a contributor and giver rather than the taker that I had been for so many years. As I've stated, I don't know what that is but I have a peace about it. I'm in HIS care and I know it. I have a long way to go but the Lord is guiding me there this time. I'm not blindly driving on my own like I once was. Never again! This time I will - "Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

Now off to meetings and training! I hate this cold weather! Please hurry back Spring!

Mid-Life Crisis?

2010-01-26T11:37:00.004-06:00

During a 47 minute hammerfest that included 4 minutes of Tabata Intervals on a stationary bike, I started thinking - deeply thinking (which I often do during these times of suffering). I thought; here I sit in a gym full of middle-aged to elderly women and men and I realized that I'm now one of them! When did I transition and cross over into being a middle-aged guy trying to hang on to good health? What happened to the twenty-something kid that used to play college basketball and not have a care in the world? I don't remember my mind ever transitioning into middle-agedom, but my body certainly has! In fact, I still think of myself as being in my late twenty's - probably to a fault.

That got me thinking even more. Here I sit on a stationary bike at 9:00 am on a Tuesday - sweating, jobless, sleeping on a friend's couch, children in another state, wondering and praying about what's around the corner. I realized that this is not what I had planned for my life at 43 years old! This was not the blueprint I had laid out to follow. My focus had gone from being a professional in an industry that I loved and grew up with, to figuring out how to survive and re-invent myself - at age 43! This was not the plan I had sketched out! Then it dawned on me! I'm not alone in this! Maybe this is the epitome of what people refer to as a mid-life crisis. Maybe that's the very definition! Could it be that millions of men have these goals and plans in the backs of their mind and it inevitably never quite comes to fruition the way they planned it? That's certainly me. Perhaps I've found the key to what a midlife crisis is! Self realization that life throws you pitches that you just can't hit. Maybe once we've realized this and accepted it for what it is, we can move on and truly fall into what it is that we are. Not necessarily a re-invention at middle life, but a divine intervention in succumbing to what we are truly meant to be!

Psalm 138

Donald's Outlook

2010-01-25T10:06:00.003-06:00

About a week or so ago, I found this excerpt on Christianity and spirituality on Donald Miller's blog. He's a really nice guy and just so happens to be my favorite author by penning my favorite book I've ever read - Blue Like Jazz. I identify with his outlook on life, relationships, and most importantly, Christianity. He's a very intellectual guy. Far more intellectual than I'll ever be. Therefore, when I read this excerpt on the heels of the Pat Robertson incident about Haiti, I greatly connected with his point of view - thereby solidifying even more my common outlook on things that I share with him.

I really enjoy his take on life, love, relationships, spirituality, sports, etc. He doesn't take himself seriously, AND he's an avid cyclist. Therefore, he can't be too bad!

Here's his excerpt:

This is from the comments made from Pat Robertson about the earthquake in Haiti.

• I’ve found that the more I trust in Christ’s redemption to be sufficient, the less overtly religious I am. And, quite honestly, the more suspect overtly religious people become to me. When I’m with somebody who talks zealously about faith, about Jesus, about the Bible, after a while, I find myself wondering whether or not their faith is strong at all. For instance, if I were with somebody who kept talking about how much they loved their wife, going on loudly and profusely, intuitively I would wonder whether or not they were struggling in their marriage. I would wonder whether they were trying to convince me they loved their wife, or if they were trying to convince themselves. (Now that I think of it, though, some of my favorite people talk about how much they love their wives, but these are less public proclamations and more sighs of appreciation.) Faith in Christ, for me, is similar. It’s intimate. I’m more comfortable giving quiet prayers, intimate prayers. Often alone, in fact. I speak of faith the way I speak of personal matters. Of course there is a time for proclamations, but that’s the key, isn’t it? There’s a time. Anyway, I love that the New Testament is mostly intimate letters written to small groups of people who met in homes. I like the quiet authenticity of our faith. Robertson’s loudness and shock-jock verbiage seems strange and oddly uncompassionate. It felt like he was trying to tell us how tough he was, not how compassionate God is.

Making Progress

2010-01-22T09:58:00.004-06:00

So, it's been quite a while since I last posted here at Compete Life. Almost 7 months to be exact. Many things have transpired. Much time has passed. Perspectives have evolved. Since the passing of Brandon Klein, I discovered a lot about myself. I've realized that I am greatly flawed. I am selfish. I am stubborn. I am resilient. And I am a survivor. You see, in an effort to stay as transparent as one can on a blog, I've gone from living in a beautiful 3800 sq. ft. home to living on a great friend's (@ksparq08 for all you Twitter fans) couch. Over the past two years, I've gotten a huge slice of humble pie. And believe me, even though it doesn't taste good, it's extremely healthy! I was once a highly sought after producer in the Christian music market. Now I am completely unemployed and praying for God's guidance in how I will meet my monthly responsibilities on the horizon.That's quite a drastic and humbling change, both financially and emotionally, but the valuable lesson that I've been learning is how to truly rely on the Lord's guidance in the smallest of areas. That's something that never occurred to me as little as 4-5 years ago. I was selfish and self-absorbed!
As some of you know that have visited this blog in the past, I decided to take up the sport of triathlon and chronicle my exploits in training and competing. Little did I know that the training aspect of this activity would become so important and vital to my development both physically and, more importantly, spiritually. You see, being out alone on the streets or in the water, has become my prayer closet. It's the place that the Lord speaks to me the loudest and most clearly. And it's in this time that I can truly converse back to him audibly. It's my time with Him. It's OUR time together to sort through my "things."

In one of my recent daily devotions it said, "Anytime you try to make progress, there WILL be opposition. But with God on your side, you can stand your ground." With that being said, this past week was one of serious opposition. Satan knew exactly where to poke, prod, and test me. I cut ties with a very close friend of almost a decade because our relationship had become more adverse than friendly, one of my best friend's child was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, I lost my job, and I have to go back to court for family reasons. It's been quite a week with a ton of painful build-up! That may be one of the reasons why I'm chronicling this - because it's a much needed outlet to get this stuff off of my chest and somehow make sense of all that's rumbling around in my head. That takes me back to my devotion. This has been my opposition and yet I'm choosing to stand my ground. Because unlike times before, I now more than ever know that God is on my side standing right behind me to support me and to remind me that He knows what the final outcome is and He knows who it benefits. I find peace and comfort in that.

Will this be a blog that keeps record of some forty-something year old man trying to stay in shape for some cheesy races? NO! Will it be an every day account of what's going on in my life? Absolutely not! I'm too private and reclusive for that. However, this WILL be a place where I will occasionally write my thoughts and epiphanies every once in a while. If no one sees or cares, fine. If they do, I hope you enjoy. Until next time, I ask and covet your prayers that the Lord truly guides me to where He wants me to be.

Stay active and enjoy life. You only get one!

Finally At Peace

2009-06-26T16:30:00.005-05:00

On Friday June 26, 2009 at 3:10 AM, our heavenly father saw fit that the angel on loan to this earth had completed his work and called him home. Brandon suffered from a disease called Refractory CIDP. Evidently, it's a virus that causes the autoimmune system to attack the body. I certainly don't understand it, but I've seen first hand the destruction and debilitation that it causes the body. It's not for the faint of heart.

In Brandon's passing, I felt compelled to write something about how he affected me as a person and as a follower of Christ. You see, I wasn't a close friend to Brandon, I'm not a family member, I wasn't his teacher or any of that. I'm just a regular guy that is an example of the profound Godly effect that Brandon had on so many. Brandon taught me about my self. He helped me to have the ability to see some of the wrongs in my life from seeing the way he positively approached the adversity in his own. Brandon, and his approach to life, had a way of shining a light on things that are trivial in ones life and showing that they are just that - trivial. The hurdles that he had to cross at such a young age were far greater than any that I can imagine in my own life. And Brandon seemed to approach them with a fervor and drive that would rival anyone, and all the while having a good attitude and praising God along the way.

The little time that I was privileged to be with Brandon, and from talking with his family, never once did he ever ask, "why me?" Would I have been that strong given that circumstance? Would I have that much of a Godly mentality as my strength and limbs fail me? Or, did our merciful Lord give Brandon some extra insight that He doesn't bestow on we "normal" people? I believe that God gave something special to my friend Brandon. I choose to believe that in those dark painful drug induced nights, the Lord was speaking directly to Brandon, comforting Brandon, and getting Brandon ready to truly go home. Brandon had a special pipeline directly to our savior. That's where I believe he received his strength, courage, and commitment. He never seemed afraid. He never seemed bitter, and he never seemed to question his faith nor where he was going.

You see, I learned a lot from Brandon Klein. I learned that, at any time, we can be entertaining angels. Brandon was an angel and I've learned that his role in God's kingdom must be an important one. It was more important for God to have Brandon back, than for him to stay here on this earth. Brandon must be helping the Lord ready His kingdom to bring the rest of us home and for that, I'm a bit envious. Brandon also taught me about strength, courage, and being steadfast in my faith. God used Brandon as a vessel to speak to and reach many people. His life, his memory, his testimony and his legacy will forever live on in the many he has so richly effected.

Thank you Lord for the gift that you gave to his family and the many that you touched through the life of Brandon Klein. Through Brandon's temporary suffering, we saw your glory and honor. Through his adversity, we saw your grace and mercy. Through his life, we caught a glimpse of You. Thank you for allowing Brandon to be at peace. Please bless his family and wash your spirit of peace over them as they grieve. Bring them closer to you.

Rest in peace Brandon. From a friend, and one you so deeply affected,

Todd Collins

A Holy Place

2009-04-28T20:17:00.004-05:00

Today was perhaps one of the most eye-opening days that I've had in my 41 years visiting this earth. Honestly, lately I've been struggling with many things in my life. Where do I go from here? Am I washed up professionally? Will I spend the rest of my life alone and pushing people away from me that love me? Will I continue to be the most selfish individual I know? When will I get some breaks come my way? You see, all of these questions have been lingering in my mind for quite some time and have started to have the trickle down effect. By that I mean, it has negatively effected my personal relationships, my finances, my business, my health, etc. Almost every aspect of my life has been correlated to these "life" questions. I've been making my silent inner fear and self pity a matter of prayer in fact. Well today my prayers and questions were divinely answered.

Late this afternoon I went down to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital to see the son of a member of the church that I attend. He has some kind of auto-immune disease that is far beyond my understanding than what my small mind can comprehend. At any rate, I knew going in that this would not be a walk in the park. It was going to be tough emotionally! Therefore, I tried to put on my competitive "game-face" (whatever that is) and go in there a strong man. Even knowing it was going to be tough, I still was ill prepared. Having never seen something to this magnitude before and trying to be mentally prepared for what was coming, I walked into that hospital room and was still blown away at the severity and human cruelness that sometimes life can dole out. I was humbled beyond words or description. This young man, Brandon, who is daily staring in the face of death, proved to be one of the most amazing, strong, brave, yet humble young men I've ever come in contact with. He was a normal 21 year old kid who loves music, girls, movies, sports, and even loves the Lord. We cracked jokes, we talked about music, we talked about girls, we even talked about the future! That was the most amazing thing to me. Brandon is strong, perceptive, smart, and grateful. Grateful? Yes, grateful! This is something that struck me as something I would probably never be - given this situation. You see, I went in that room wanting to be a light and a help to someone and a family that could use all the help they can get, yet I walked out of that room a completely different man. I received from Brandon and his family much more than I could've ever given. They showed me what leaning on Christ and His strength is truly about. They are people that I will not soon forget.

I say all of that to come back to those "life" questions that I've been in self pity about. How did God speak to me? Well, He revealed to me that all of those issues that I have buried deep within are all selfish "me" issues and all rooted in fear. Notice that all of those issues start with the word "my". They're not about someone else or putting someone else first. It's about ME! The Lord revealed to me, "There but for the grace of God go I". What if I were laying in that bed staring death in the face on a daily basis? Would I give God glory and be okay with whatever His will would be? Or, what if I were his father who had to fill out a living will at his son's bedside! Would I be okay with that? Would I still love my God in the midst of the lowest of low like Brandon does? This life is NOT about me as much as our society says it is. This life is supposed to be about putting yourself aside and putting others first . . . no matter what! That's living as Christ would have us live. That's how Jesus lived! I can now ashamedly say I've never been that way. However, my eyes were drastically opened to many things about my self this afternoon. I want to do some good for others. I want to do things with a pure heart, a pure motive, and with nothing expected in return. I want to be like Brandon! That's Christ-like.

Lastly, I was so amazingly moved by one other thing. Just before I left that hospital room that was filled with every imaginable machine hooked to his weak body, I touched Brandon's arm. I said to him, "Brandon, you are an amazing guy! Keep fighting!" As I touched his arm, I felt something shoot through my body that I can't describe. I don't know what it was. He just felt different. I don't know if it was the Holy Spirit or what, but he felt special. He was warm and soft and it felt almost electric. I then got over come with emotion and couldn't speak. I hugged his mom and just looked at her without anything coming from my mouth. My emotion swept over me like a crashing wave. I felt unworthy to be in that room. It was a Holy place. A place that undoubtedly the Holy Spirit dwelled and He spoke to me in a very real way today.

Therefore, this entry will be my last. The short time that I spend on this blog, I feel, can be better used in other areas toward helping other people. I don't know what that's going to look like, but I want to go where God is already at work and can use a broken and selfish man like myself.

Please pray that God performs a miracle in the life of Brandon and his family. If I've ever seen an area where a miracle is needed, it's there. They need as many believers lifting him up as feasibly possible. If Brandon passes on to be with the Lord, God has used him to make a short but huge impact on a guy like me. Bless you Brandon, and thank you Lord.

A Rare Freestyle

2009-04-23T17:44:00.005-05:00

This post is something that I wanted to post just for a bit of fun. KJ52 is a long time working partner and friend. During GMA week (Gospel Music Association), he dropped by my house during some downtime to just hang out and do some catching up. We had a good time and he was kind and fun enough to do a freestyle off the top of his head for my twin girls after they asked him to kick one.

KJ is a good sport and this is part of why he's made such a great career out of what he does. Everyone likes him and he seems to have time for everyone. It's been great to see his career thrive and flourish. He's a very talented guy and what he does on this video is certainly very hard to do off the top of your head. It takes tons of talent and practice - which is something that he stays sharp on.

Enjoy!

On a workout note, my swim session last night consisted of the below:

20 Minute Warm Up
20 x 25 :30, :40, :50
pull with band no buoy!
1-10 no paddles
11-20 pull with paddles if have them
8 x 75 1:30, 1:45, 2:00 Be sure to get enough rest after each 75
25 slow long strokes
25 fast short strokes
25 fast and long
Six Times::
100 FAST
100-200 Easy
7:00
Pull w/ buoy 10 x 50 10RI

Working Out With Taylor

2009-04-22T21:09:00.004-05:00

Today was enjoyable in that I was able to go on a nice easy run with my daughter Taylor. She's on the high school track team, so she's already familiar with running and is in pretty good running shape. We had a nice time running and talking together and best of all, I was more impressed with her running ability than previous. I new she was pretty good, but I didn't really know how good. Well, I can certainly tell that she genuinely loves running and the feeling it gives you.

We ran for about 40 minutes and later that afternoon she even went to her high school track practice and ran some more. After her practice, I picked her up and took her with me to the swim complex where I had tri swim practice. There, she decided to run some more! I was a bit taken aback to say the least. If she stays on a path like this, she'll be the world's most fit teenager! I've been proud of how she's taken to eating more healthy and trying to get in some daily exercise.

As for me, I went ahead and did the full swim practice with foot cramps and all! It's an area of frustration for me. I'm sure it has something to do with hydration or nutrition or something. Anyway, I press on.

Today I felt truly blessed to have gotten to spend some valuable time with my little girl and continue to teach her something that will stay with her for the rest of her life. Health is one of the true gifts that God bestows upon us to be good stewards of.

Good luck to all who are running in the Country Music Marathon this weekend. Hopefully, I'll be able to join you next year.

Plans That Change

2009-04-19T17:37:00.003-05:00

It's Sunday afternoon as I write this and I'm laid up on my couch on a rainy day watching NBA playoff basketball. This however, is not by choice. I woke up this morning and went to my church's early service then came home with the intent to get ready to go to swim practice. It didn't work out that way. You see, my body has really been trying to contract a nice head cold and I've been really trying to stave it off. Today was the day that my will succumbed to my body and I got fully sick. It's depressing because I haven't been sick in a few years now and I really wanted to get some swimming in this afternoon but I just don't feel up to it.

I also had intended to take all 3 of my girls downtown to the kick off of GMA week and go to the PB and J party where there would be tons of bands playing. However, that didn't happen either and I'm bummed about that as well.

This is not a good time to be getting sick as I've got tons to do this week that is very work related. I've got to shake this cold, get rid of this congestion, get back to training, and continue working. There's no time for sickness!

Friday GMA Bike Day

2009-04-17T17:51:00.007-05:00

After a crappy day yesterday on the track, I needed a nice bike day with perfect weather. This weekend and the coming week is going to be crazy with GMA week on the horizon. This is always the week where the Christian music industry congregates to "show their wares." It usually pretty brutal with all the posing and the schedules. It's always pretty ridiculous. Anyway, it was great to get to get in a nice relaxing ride before all of the craziness begins. The reindeer games, for me, begin tomorrow with a speaking engagement in Nashville. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, here are the stats for today's ride.

Date: 04/17/2009
Time Taken: 01:09:25
Total Distance: 21.50 mi.
Burned: 1,120 (kcal)
Workout Weight: 190.0 lbs.
Effort: Hard
Quality: Good
Pace: 03:13 (avg)
Speed: 18.58 (mi/hr) (avg)

The picture to the right is of the appropriately named Heaven's Pass. This is my favorite part of any of the rides that I go on. It's beautiful at any time of the year but especially in the spring and summer. I have a spiritual experience every time I go through this area. It's amazing!

Frustration Again!

2009-04-16T09:43:00.006-05:00

Today is Thursday and it's the day that I normally meet my triathlon coach for my weekly morning workout. Currently, Coach Baker has a bum wheel. He has a broken toe and has been unable to do "normal" workouts for him. Therefore, he gets to actually stand on the sidelines and coach rather than coach AND participate. I figured this would be a good thing this morning in that the workout would be especially intense because he would have my under a microscope. It was definitely headed in that direction until I had the old "pain in the calf" problem again. I got through a nice warm-up followed by some pretty good drills to get loose and get the blood flowing. After the drills, he had me do some striders which were basically 40 yard sprints at about 80% intensity. I like those because I feel like I'm best suited for those types of bursts of energy over the endurance stuff. Once those were done (which I liked a lot), we moved into the beginning part of the serious workout. He had planned to do, what he called a 4-3-3-2-1. More on the specifics of that at the end. Meanwhile, I started with a timed mile at what he considered my 5k pace. In a nutshell, I ran the mile in 7:00. I felt good and Coach said I was pacing about a 1:45 per lap pace for a 5k. I was happy with that and didn't feel too bad. I felt like I could keep going. Anyway, we moved on to the next portion which consisted of a 3/4 mile (3 laps) at a slightly faster pace. He wanted me to go about a 1:40 per lap pace for 3 laps. That's when the wheels fell off! On the back straight away of the first of the first of the 3 laps, I had that sharp pain that occasionally get in my calves. This time it was in my right calf rather than the left. It's so frustrating because I was really starting to fall into a groove. Richard had me stop, we talked about some things health-wise, and he told me we were going to do some tweaking to my run program to try and fix the calf situation. Basically instead of trying to mix in some hard fast and intense runs, we going to strictly focus on slow endurance building timed runs. That suits me fine if I can ultimately run long distances without any pain. Besides, isn't that the objective anyway? I'm in this to build endurance anyway - which is slowly coming along (and I mean slowly)!

The workout that Richard had planned consisted of:

800 meter warm-up
Various drills (2 each) - high knees, butt kicks, kareokes, skips, defensive slides
4 - 40 yard strides (80% sprints)
400 meter slow jog
1 mile - 5k pace
3/4 mile (3 laps) - a little faster than 5k pace
3/4 mile - same as above
800 meters - slightly faster than 3/4 mile pace
400 meters - slow
Warm down & stretch

Obviously, I didn't make it through the entire workout which really frustrates me. I can't figure out if it's a hydration issue, or a fatigue issue due to last night's swim workout, or if it's just a physical physique issue. I'm getting to the point where I want to go have it checked with a sports specialist. Hopefully soon. We'll see.

An Interruption

2009-04-12T08:15:00.004-05:00

Last night was one of those sleepless nights again. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling as I prayed, thought, contemplated, worried, pondered, etc. I had my alarm set for 5:45 to wake up to go to the sunrise service on Easter morning for church. I finally dozed off at about 5:00 am and woke up some 45 minutes later. Frustrated that I couldn't sleep, I got ready to go to church to have service outside by the river. It was a beautiful morning and by the sweet sounds of the birds singing, I knew it was going to be a beautiful day in which I couldn't stay frustrated for too long.

I got to church, walked down to the river where there were hundreds of people already gathered, and decided to stand in the back like my good Southern Baptist upbringing. After the worship music, Pastor Steve started into his message on Godly interruptions and how they're good for us. He made the analogy that our lives are constantly interrupted by society but that most of the time it's a frustration and sometimes a set back that we learn to live with. Not 5 minutes into his message, two geese flew low over the tree tops calling out their bird calls. Trust me, it was loud. So loud in fact that Steve had to stop talking all together to wait for them to pass as he physically watched them pass over head. It was as if it were right on cue as he talked about allowing God to interrupt our lives for His glory.

I can't speak for anyone else there, but that to me was an incredibly powerful moment. It was as if the Lord made a grand entrance in a beautiful way to say, "I want to be close to you. I want your life to be interrupted so that we can have a closer relationship."

I didn't hear too much after that moment because I was so moved by what I feel was the Lord speaking to me and saying, "I know you're uncomfortable right now. I know things are difficult in your life right now, but rest in me. Have faith and know that though your life is being interrupted, you are growing closer to me and I love you for that." It was a moment in my life that I'll not soon forget. So in this case, my interruption will end up being a wonderful one.

Oh, and did I mention? Pastor Steve stated that the Celtic symbol for the Holy Spirit is the goose. Pretty amazing how the Holy Spirit can move and communicate. Praise the Lord! For today, He is risen!

The Saturday Before Easter

2009-04-11T14:21:00.004-05:00

Okay I'll admit, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'm having one of those weekends that I'm feeling depressed and quite stressed. The details aren't exactly that important but it's something that's somewhat of a life hurdle in a few ways. Yes, I know the Lord has a greater plan in all of this and I DO trust and have faith that He will make a way. I know that! However, in my infinite humanity, it's still something of a struggle today - and that's what I have to get through. Today, and today only. So because of my struggle for today and yesterday, and because I had a lot of alone time, I decided to do what I know levels me out the most - train. I decided to go to the pool and get in a short 45 minute but intense swim workout. It was good and I needed it. I ended up going about 2200 yards and felt invigorated afterward. The workout consisted of:

200 yd. light warm up
500 yd. swim @ 10:30
500 yd. kick/drill/swim with fins
500 yd. pull with pull bouy
6 - 50's on 1:00
200 yd. easy warm down

The Lord is a gracious and merciful God. In Him I choose to put my trust. He is risen and He is Lord! Happy Easter.

Tornado Run Day

2009-04-10T17:25:00.005-05:00

Today was crazy! Last night at 4:00 am I woke up to some serious storms. In fact, I thought my front windows were going to break. From there, the weather didn't let up until about 3:00 in the afternoon. In the middle of all of that, were multiple tornado warnings, hail, and tons of wind and rain. That's not real conducive to running or riding outside which seemed to put a damper on my original plans. Therefore, I had to come up with different options. I ended up cleaning up the house, preparing me some meals for the days ahead and simultaneously watching the Masters and storm coverage. Exciting day for sure.

After the rains had subsided, I decided to go with my "plan B" - a nice easy run after yesterday's. I would've rather gotten in about a 45-50 mile ride but that obviously wasn't going to happen. So I journeyed out on an easy run. It ended up being a nice one with no cramping or serious soreness afterward. I guess this is telling me that my form is coming around nicely and I'm running more efficiently for longer distances. That encourages me.

I'm slowly learning a lot about myself, about my body, and about my life. Things I'd wished I had learned many years ago. It's quite humbling and thanks to the discipline of triathlon, I continue to be greatly humbled.

Swim Practice & A Busted Wheel!

2009-04-09T18:42:00.005-05:00

Last night was my usual swim practice that, for this particular session, wasn't too hard for me. That's because Coach Ashley had all of us doing sprints and that's the particular area of swimming I seem to excel in. That's not much help when you're training for triathlons and supposedly doing long distance stuff. At any rate, I battled through some cramping in my feet and calves but managed to make it the whole practice without just dying as I normally do. I felt good. The practice consisted of:

20 Minute Warm Up
6 x 75- breathing pattern 3-5-7 by 25's 1:30
8 x 50--Slow/medium pace :50, 1:00,
8 x 50--Medium/fast :50, 1:00,
8 x 100--Freestyle (descend in sets of 2) 1:30, 1:45, 2:00,
8 x 100--75 build, rest 10 seconds, then 25 sprint 1:45, 2:00, 2:15,
8 x 50--25 medium, rest 10 seconds, 25 sprint (1:10 interval) 1:00, 1:10
Total Group 1- 3250 yards + Warm Up / Warm Down

Today after working on film and video stuff for the office, I decided to take a nice run in the great weather. I wanted to take advantage of it because, knowing my luck, it won't be very good tomorrow since we have the day off. Tomorrow would be a perfect day for training all day, but I believe we're expecting bad weather during the day. Go figure!

The run was nice and relaxing and I am starting to learn to keep it at a comfortable zone 2 pace. It's a slow learning process that I wish I could be faster at learning, but I'm getting there thanks to Triswami. And speaking of the "Coach," he's unfortunately suffering through a broken toe that he acquired during a training session (you can read about it here). I guess that means that I have some lag time to be able to catch up to his fitness and running level. I think I'm gonna go for it! :-)

Lastly, my devotion for today hit me pretty hard. It was, "Consider it not hard labor, but serve strangers and smile. Accommodate your neighbor, journey with him that extra mile."
Matthew 5:41

Sunday Training Day

2009-04-06T20:32:00.003-05:00

I'm writing this on Monday night because I haven't had a chance to upload any of the blogging due to work schedule. Work has been crazy in a good way. It's kept me busy!

Sunday was a day of some serious training after a tough day of riding on Saturday. It was nice to be outside during some good weather for a change. Now if the weather would just stick for a while so the outdoor training could be more consistent.

The ride was a 2.5 hour 45 mile ride that literally kicked my tail due to the cold and wind. The Sunday swim workout/thrashing was as follows:

20 Minute Warm Up
8 x 75 fins 1:30, 1:45, 2:00
25 tarzan swim
25 fly kick
25 free swim breathing every 5

Group 2, 31 x 100
6 x 100 @ 2:00
8 x 100 @ 1:55
4 x 100 @ 1:50
3 x 100 @ 1:45
8 x 100 @ 1:40
2 x 100 @ 1:35

Wednesday Night's Swim

2009-04-02T20:02:00.002-05:00

Last night was swim practice and after a nice moderate run that afternoon, the swim workout proved to be a tough one. That included some cramps and all! Oh well, I can take solace in knowing that I'm getting in better shape and the pain is leaving my body.

Here's what the workout consisted of:

20 Minute Warm Up

1 x 500 with fins
50 kick fly
50 swim free or back

8 x 25 Fast :45
200-400 25 drill/25 swim
No interval we will start when everyone is done

4 x 50 Fast 1:30
200-400 25 drill/25 swim
No interval we will start when everyone is done

2 x 100 Fast 3:00
200-400 25 drill/25 swim
No interval we will start when everyone is done

500- 1000 pull easy no paddles
Warm Down
Total:
Group 1- 2800 yards + Warm Up/Warm Down

Yesterday's Swim Workout

2009-03-30T22:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my dedicated Sunday swim flogging! For some reason, I was dragging more than usual and was feeling like the swim workout with the rest of the Tri team was a killer. Meaning, is was killing me - not killer in a good way! I was struggling to say the least! I guess it was just one of those days. At any rate, here's the workout for the few of you that are interested in seeing it and using it for later. Enjoy!

20 Minute Warm Up

4 x 125 Fins 2:30-3:30
50 kick on R side, making a fist
50 Kick on L side making a fist
25 swim

2 x 400 @ T30 Pace + 2sec /100
4 x 200 @ T30 pace
8x 100
Odd- DPS
Even- T30 Pace - 5 seconds
Intervals:
400, 200, 100
1. 6:40, 3:20, 1:40
2. 7:20, 3:40, 1:50
3. 8:00, 4:00, 2:00
4. 8:40, 4:20, 2:10
5. 9:20, 4:40, 2:20

Warm Down

Total 2900 meters + Warm Up/Warm Down

A Run With Kori

2009-03-28T19:10:00.005-05:00

Today was a bit of a weird day. It started out as being slightly overcast and very windy. Then around noon, it cleared up substantially with not as much wind. It was then that I decided to fit in my Saturday run. As I was preparing to leave while stretching and such, Kori asked me if she could come with me as she rode her bike. Of course I said yes! So the two of us went out to the garage and got her all set up to roll out with me on her bike. Needless to say, it made for a much more interesting and fun run as we talked, laughed, I pushed her, etc. We were out for 45 minutes (until she had had enough for the day) and it proved to be the most meaningful and enjoyable run that I've had since this whole thing started. I always cherish the times that I can spend individually with my girls as I know they will become fewer over time.

After the run and doing some replenishing of fluids, I decided to get in an hour of cycling on the indoor trainer as I watched the NCAA tournament. It ended up being quite a nice little workout considering I couldn't ride outside due to scattered thunderstorms and high winds. The workout ended up being a constant spin in zone 2 during the actual game on tv and some intense zone 4 workout during the commercials. This was an idea given to me by my coach Triswami.

Once that was over, it was off to relax land for me. That's when the tornado storms moved in and dumped some serious rain and hail on Williamson County. The whole day's temperature was quite nice and in the mid 70's until the storms had moved through and brought back the cold weather. Man, when is Spring going to be fully here?

Today was a good day. Now off to church tomorrow with all my girls then swim practice. The Lord is good and merciful. . . thankfully.

Yesterday's TWO Workouts!

2009-03-26T13:19:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was my day to meet my coach Richard Baker (@triswami) in the morning for a workout. He had originally planned for us to do an outdoor workout on the bikes that would include hill repeats. However, that didn't come to fruition because of the weather being bad. So his plan B was to do any indoor cycling trainer session that was a bit over an hour that would stay consistently in that zone 2 range. I have to say, I continue to learn and enjoy it as the old Triswami knows what he's doing and talking about. It's quite enjoyable learning the in's and out's of the sport and pushing my body to limits I previously didn't know I had.

Later that evening (after work, of course), I went to triathlon swim class where the class seemed a bit less crowded than usual. It looked like we only had about 60-70 participants rather than 100! At any rate, our coach Ashley showed no mercy on the feeble! It was a training session that left me beat to the point that I felt a little sick and going to bed at 9:00. That's usually unheard of for a creative night owl like myself.

It was a productive training day filled with other ups and downs. The Lord was heavily dealing with me yesterday. I count that a blessing as He's continuously letting me know that He won't let me get away. For that, I'm thankful!

Here's what yesterday's swim workout consisted of:

20 Minute Warm Up
500 Kick/ Drill by 50's with fins (work On streamlining past 3rd line off every wall)

8x50 pull @ :55
2x200 negative split @ 3:00, 3:20
4x100 fast @ 1:30, 1:40

300 pull smooth 6:00
2x150 negative split @ 2:10, 2:30
3x100 fast @ 1:30, 1:40

200 pull smooth 4:00
2x100 negative split @ 1:30, 1:40
2x100 fast @ 1:30, 1:40

100 pull smooth 2:00
1x100 negative split @ 2:00
1x100 all out FAST!!
100 easy recovery

100 cool down

Troy's First Ride of '09

2009-03-22T19:19:00.003-05:00

Today was a monumental day in that Troy took his first training ride since our last triathlon back in October. It's been almost 5 months for him and as would be expected, he was out of shape but ready to back in to it. The weather was amazing and warranted the attitude of wanting to get out and be active. Troy caught the bug. . . thankfully. He's getting that itch again to get back into a regular regimen. It's been a week since he has gotten back on a good healthy weight losing diet, and if he stays with it along with exercise, he'll drop weight quick.

After our short easy zone 2 (for all you triathletes) ride, I quickly hustled home to put away my bike and head to swim practice for a butt kicking session that ended up being about 3000 meters of sheer hell! Toward the end of practice, I started battling cramps in my feet which is due from fatigue and lack of hydration.

At any rate, practice was good and it was great to be back out on the bike with my partner/brother Troy.

Today was a good day.

The Car Giveaway

2009-03-21T21:46:00.007-05:00

Today, I woke up intending to do some riding on the bike. However, after sleeping in until almost 10:00 am (which I didn't mean to do), the weather forced me to change my plans. It was too cold this morning to ride so I postponed it until the afternoon - hoping to fit it in once it warmed up.

Also, today was the day that Troy and I decided to give the twins their new/used car for their 16th birthday. It's a Ford Taurus that used to be owned by our Grandmother Johnson. So the afternoon was spent cleaning and getting the car in tip-top shape. Troy and his wife Stacie were selfless, generous, and loving enough to give me their car after having it transferred into my name in order to give it to the girls for their sweet sixteen. In the phase of life that I'm in, and for the unconditional love that they have for their nieces, Troy and Stacie showed me their continued Christ-like love in their generosity to my sweet girls. I will never be able to express my gratitude to them and to the Lord for always being faithful in His provision for me and my family.

Throughout this whole life-changing journey that I've been on, I can now look back and see just how the Lord has continually had me in His loving hands and watched over my every move. I'm still learning to totally and completely put all of my faith in Him in every aspect of my life. However, it's this journey that He seems to be using to draw me closer to Him.

On a much more unimportant note, I DID get in an intense 45 minute bike training session in this afternoon before all of the "reindeer games" started. It was nice to be out with no music, no other riders, and just my thoughts and prayers. The weather was a little on the cold side, but overall it was nice to be back out on the road. I rode just under 15 miles and if you'd like to check the stats, click here.

Tomorrow is swim practice at the complex. I'd like to get in a short ride as well, but that may be wishful thinking with church involved.

Today was a great day! I'm a blessed man and a happy and proud father!

Opening Tourney Day

2009-03-19T21:08:00.005-05:00

Today is the opening round of the NCAA basketball tournament. That means non-stop basketball all day long for the next four days. Then again next weekend! It's my favorite time of the sporting year!

The above video explains the last couple of days of workout which has been tough but good. The swim workout consisted of this:

20 Minute Warm Up

6 x 150 FINS 2:15, 2:30, 2:45, 3:00
odds- kick, drill, swim by 50's
evens- each 50 gets faster

40x50
- 16 @ :45, 50, :55, :60, 1:10 every 4th 50 FAST
Extra :60 rest
- 12 @ :50, :55, :60, :65, 1:15 every 3rd 50 FAST
Extra :60 rest
- 8 @ :55, :60, :65, :70, 1:20every other 50 FAST
Extra :60 rest
- 4 @ :60, :65, :70, :75, 1:25 ALL FAST!!!)

400 smooth (100 w/buoy, 100 swim, repeat)
Total 3300 yards + Warm up

That's all for now. Don't feel like typing too much because basketball is on! Gotta concentrate.

Sunday's Swim and Run - Post #201!

2009-03-15T19:29:00.006-05:00

This post marks the official passing of 200 posts! I can't believe that this is post number 201. I can distinctly remember beginning this thing back in May of last year. It's been quite a journey of ups and downs and, for me, it's quite interesting to go back and look at some of the progress that's been made and the hurdles that have been crossed. The documentation of this multi-faceted journey has been therapeutic for me in so many ways. I'm thankful that God has put this on my heart to do for myself and for my children down the road at such a pivotal time in our collective lives.

This morning started with all three of my girls and me going to church. I love it when I have the opportunity to take my little ladies with me to worship. It means so much to me. This morning the message was about Jacob and ultimately his name being changed to Israel. Initially, Jacob's life consisted of being selfish, deception, conniving, and everything else that was temporarily fulfilling. In fact, his name itself meant sup planter or to prey on others. In essence, he resisted God's hand for many years even though he was considered a chosen one. Ultimately he wrestled with God and lost (of course). But in this entanglement, he finally came to a loving conversion. It's a wonderful biblical story that truly spoke volumes to me personally. I've wrestled with God and "religion" for far too long and I want to be used fully by Him. I've been broken and I, like Jacob, want to be a blessed but broken man with a constant reminder of where I've been. I'm so thankful that the Lord uses misfits because, in that, I know He can use me!

Jacob sold out in order to receive a birthright what was not rightfully his. I, in turn, have sold out in the past for things done in all the wrong ways. God is turning those thing into glory for Him in ways that I can't describe. I can see it with my own two eyes and I know that He's got some amazing things in my future. For that, I'm grateful yet undeserving so I'm humbled. Thank you Lord.

For lack of making this post too long, I had a wonderful workout today that was much needed after the debacle of last week and the weather. The above video explains it all.

Thanks to all friends, family, and on-lookers who stop by occasionally to check out what's going on after 200 of these needless things. I appreciate the support and emails. Please keep them coming. Even after 200 posts, I still feel new at this. Any feedback is welcome. Any questions on training is also welcome. If I don't know the answer, I've got a great coach who undoubtedly does.

Compete Life - because life is competitive in different ways.

No Outside Workouts!

2009-03-14T18:37:00.003-05:00

As you can see from the picture, the Nashville area is in the middle of bad weather for the 3rd straight day! It's hideous, and I'm completely sick of the winter, cold weather, and rain. I'm overly ready for spring and good training weather non-stop!

Today, the only thing that I really did and felt like doing was some indoor training that consisted of:

- 3 sets of 15 swiss ball push-ups with the Perfect Push-ups.
- 3 sets of 20. 10 lbs. dumbbell swiss ball crunches.
- 3 sets of 10 Turkish get-ups.
- 3 sets of 20 (w/10 lbs. curls) - Because I don't have heavier dumbbells.

My calf soreness has subsided from Tuesday after thinking that I may have slightly injured my Achilles or something to that effect. However, with the soreness now gone, I'm highly ready to be outside and doing my proper workouts on the road - be it running or cycling. The weather obviously has a whole other agenda, and it's quite discouraging.

At any rate, I'll be back at it soon and tomorrow is a tri swim team workout. It should be fun and tough at the same time.

Video soon to follow.

A Triswami Run Analysis

2009-03-10T20:53:00.004-05:00

This morning I had to wake up at 6:00 am to meet with my triathlon coach Richard Baker at 7:00. His job is to make me better in the three disciplines and today was a run analysis. He was to take a look at my stride and running gait and make it more efficient and comfortable. Being from a quick twitch sports background, I figured that my long distance running form would be way out of whack. This was my thought due to the fact that when I run distance runs, I usually get some calf and Achilles soreness. I figured I was a mess. However, after doing some warming up and listening to the teaching of the Triswami guru himself, he told me that I had very good natural running form. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked, happy, and encouraged. During the workout session, he did however do some very minor tweaks to my arm placements and swing motion that ended up making quite a big difference over a long period. I could tell at the end of the workout after we had run hill repeats, run drills, tempo runs, etc. In all, we clocked in about 5 to 5.5 miles over the period of our workout and it didn't feel like we had done that much in that period of time. I was very pleasantly surprised because I was going into this coaching thing thinking that my run was by far the thing that needed the most work. That's still somewhat true. I just have to get in the miles now that I know the proper technique and form thanks to the Schwam!

Unfortunately, no video today because there's been no time. Between training, work, taxiing kids, and other things, I haven't been able to take the time to shoot some video. However, I'll get it in when I can and keep this updated as much as possible.

I'm having a great time training and learning a new competitive sport and I feel that I can be pretty good at this and accomplish my goals in the meantime. The Lord willing, we shall see.

A Sunday T30

2009-03-08T19:48:00.004-05:00

Today, I must say, was a grueling workout for only 30 minutes. In triathlon swim/training class, we were measured how far we could swim in 30 minutes (without stopping, of course). It was brutal to say the least but it was something that I'm glad that I did as a measuring stick for next time.

I ended up swimming 1700 meters in 30 minutes and was relatively happy about that considering it was my first time at doing anything like that. I have a problem with pacing. I'm so used to everything being about finishing quickly or sprinting that it's been hard to shift my mentality to that of going out slow and methodical. I'm no longer a basketball player or sprinter so I have to stop thinking that way which has been quite tough. At any rate, I now have a barometer from which to measure from next time and I certainly did learn a thing or two about how to approach going about swimming a timed swim like that. . . or a long triathlon swim for that matter.

Church was wonderful this morning as the twins and I went to our Grace Chapel. Steve is continuing to go through the bible chronologically and this morning's message was about Isaac, Jacob, and Esau. I love how Steve can take an old and often heard story and make it so relevant and personal in today's world. It was almost as if he were speaking directly into my own situation. Praise God for the way He's using that church and Steve Berger to speak and minister into my life.

100k Group Ride

2009-03-07T14:00:00.004-06:00

Okay, so it's been about a week since my last post here. It's been because I've been so busy with work, kids, training schedule, etc. I guess life is just getting in the way of my posting.

At any rate, I'm typing this blog while sitting on my back deck enjoying the perfect 74 degree sunny weather. I wasn't so lucky this morning. This morning the temp was mid 50's, overcast, and a slight mist. Not exactly perfect biking weather. By the time I had finished the ride, my bike and I were completely covered in dirt and water from the roads - but I digress.

I arrived at the meeting launch spot well before the 7:15 depart time. I wanted to make sure that I had everything in place and was not feeling rushed. Once we got going (myself and 8 other stud riders), I immediately realized that these guys weren't your average weekend warrior-type riders. These guys are vastly experienced in riding and/or many triathlons. I then knew I was in for a long day and I was out of my league. However, I felt good and stayed well within the pack. I went on relatively holding my own for the first two hours until we got to an unrelenting monster hill. Needless to say, I hit the wall. It was everything I could to to hang on until eventually I got dropped. Yes, I got dropped! It was humbling to say the least but a learning experience that I'm sure I'll draw from down the road. My coach (and quickly becoming a good friend), Richard Baker in all of his gregariousness, was kind enough to turn around, come back, and ride the last hour of the ride with me. That truly meant a lot to me and told me a ton about his character. He didn't have to do that. I could've made it back on my own, but he decided to use that time as teaching tool and I was accepting and grateful. We finally made it back and I was never so happy to see my car in the distance. However, I had a great time and truly learned a ton from these experienced guys that allowed a "newbie" to tag along. Thanks guys!

I certainly know now that I have a long way to go to where I want to be and today was an indicator toward that. I also know some areas that I can improve on and that also encourages me. I'm always up for growth.

Lastly in case you're wondering, my coach is not just a coach (in the traditional sense). He's a seriously competitive athlete and I have a long way to go before I ever get close to his level. One can certainly hope!

Beatdown After 2 Workouts

2009-03-03T18:14:00.004-06:00

Today was a though physical day, but rewarding nonetheless. I've gotta say, I'm tired but feeling good and optimistic. Tired mainly because, for the last 3 nights, I've had some trouble sleeping and I don't know why. Maybe it's stress. That's certainly the reason for my afternoon run and it was well worth the release. I felt better than I figured that I would since my coach (Triswami) kicked my butt this morning for our first official "evaluation" strength workout. I'll tell ya; he's certainly seriously knowledgeable and enormously fit. . . for any age. I'm excited about the sheer Hell that he's probably going to inflict. He's a beast.

During the run, I was feeling a bit energetic due to the music and due to feeling like I had some bounce in my legs. That was surprising to me considering the onslaught of pain I received this morning. I had a good alone time on the run to relieve some stress and just focus on my life situations both good and bad. I find a lot of solace and peace from the Lord out on these runs and bikes. I truly feel the Lord has my undivided attention and He speaks to me the most clearly.

My run was:
45 minutes with 6 - 30 second intervals at a 5k pace (which means, not an all out sprint but a pretty solid pace). The non-interval running sections were to be run in zone 2 which is a slow methodical comfortable pace. And so the journey continues.

Sunday's 3000 Meters

2009-03-01T17:40:00.003-06:00

Triathlon swim class. Today I went out to practice with probably 35-40 other people. For me the practice was a bit unlike Wednesday's practice in that I purposely saved some at the beginning in order to have some left for the end. This was an obvious smart move because during Wednesday's workout, I ended up getting multiple cramps in my feet. This was due to not being adequately hydrated and going out too hard too early. Both of these were taken care of today. At the end of today's workout, I felt good and not too fatigued. That was nice, and I felt pretty good about being in good enough physical shape to not feel whipped at the end of the workout.

The workout consisted of (in meters):
- 500 easy warm-up
- 20 x 50's on 1:10 - stretch/glide drills
- 4 x 200 stroke swim
- 200 warm down

This coming week is the start of my official coach induced training schedule. I'm looking forward to the challenge and the gained knowledge of both the sport and how my body will respond. It'll be fun and tough at the same time.

Tri Swim Class & A Run

2009-02-26T19:24:00.005-06:00

Today has been an absolute crappy day for reasons untold. However, after my swim workout last night, I didn't know how my daily run would go. In actuality, I wasn't as sore as I thought I'd be. At any rate, the day's run was tough but it was good. I dread next week when I'm with Coach Baker as he'll undoubtedly work to kick my tail. Be that as it may, my alone time was great and well spent. I found myself, once again, listening to the Katinas' Lifestyle worship album as I was running. That record speaks to me in such profound ways. Some of the lyrics that rang out to me were:

Lord I give you my heart. I give you my soul. I live for you alone. Every breath that I take, every moment I'm awake. Lord, have your way and I'll obey.

That, lately, has been my prayer and what aspire to live by - as hard as that is for a selfish guy like me (and trust me, I've been told many times that I am!). At any rate, it's a daily process and I'm thankful for the strength and grace that I'm afforded from the Lord on a daily basis. I'm tragically flawed, and this I know. I'm just thankful that with each new day comes a fresh new start and that's exactly how I view it.

As for the actual run, it wasn't that spectacular after the hard swim workout. I ran for about 36 minutes and the previous days' swim was clocked in at over 3000 yards. It was a rough go.

Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace.

Psalms 37:37

The Presidental Address

2009-02-24T20:12:00.003-06:00

Today was one of those days that wasn't exactly a good day and with no particular reason. It was just a day that loomed a bit darkly. As I sit here in my home, alone with my thoughts, I watch the Presidential address to congress on television and all I can think about is this: Whether you agree with our newly elected President or not, I find myself not really being concerned with the serious crisis that our country is in. I find that I have a certain peace about my personal situation. A peace that has been afforded me by my Lord and Savior. I feel that my God is bigger than any depression or national deficit. He's also personal enough to look out for my individual well-being and one that knows the future that He holds for me in His hands.

Yes, I've been through some major struggles and yes, I still have a way to go. However, I have hope. Hope in my future and hope for tomorrow. Have I suffered? YES! But God has allowed these trials to sharpen me and to make me a better man, father, and spiritual leader to my children. I've learned that every human will experience a certain amount of suffering in their lifetime, and I've certainly experienced my fair share to this point. For that, I'm thankful because this has obviously been in the Lord's plan for me and I accept that. I've realized that it's not IF suffering will happen, but how we navigate waters of suffering victoriously. It's inevitable.

God knows the greater outcome, which is why He allows the painful present.

What does all of this have to do with triathlon and training? Here's the bottom line for me. There's a certain connection between the physical suffering that goes along with training and the suffering that is inevitable that goes along with life. I've learned to embrace both and praise the Lord for it.

Now practically, this morning was a nice 4.5 mile run for about 38 minutes this morning before work in the cold weather. I'm truly ready for the chill in the air to be overtaken by the warmer spring weather. I'm ready to really push myself with my new coach to see how far I can take myself, better myself physically and mentally, and continue down the road to redemption.

Monday Morning Short Run

2009-02-23T16:01:00.004-06:00

The video pretty much speaks for itself. Feeling good in getting my running legs somewhat back in order. Pressing on toward tomorrow.

Sunday Drama

2009-02-22T17:32:00.004-06:00

Okay yes, this is a video-less post. Reason being is because I just haven't felt like filming anything today. You see, today started early by getting the twins from their mother's house and taking them to church to see their cousin Elizabeth (Mini) be baptized. This was quite a joyous occasion by every account. After church, I took the girls to a nice restaurant for a birthday lunch in which we had a lovely time talking, eating, and I gave them their birthday gift. We had a great time over lunch. Once lunch was over, we headed home to just spend some quality time together and watch a movie. That's when the drama started. Let's just say that fathering high school girls garners high school drama. We had a dramatic afternoon that pretty much derailed the nice afternoon that I had planned. However, I guess that goes with the territory of having teenagers. These events caused me to need to take a run, so I did! I ran a total of just under 25 minutes. I would've run longer but, quite honestly, it was extremely cold and a bit miserable outside but I was willing to endure the elements over the attitudes and heat that was going on inside. I felt much better afterward.

This run was also a first in running in a new pair of Lunaracer running flats. These sneakers are supposed to be the lightest running shoes ever made. I certainly believe it! They're amazingly light and extremely comfortable. However, the jury is still out on whether I like them better than the beloved Vomero 3's that I've been wearing for the past 2 years. I'll update on that after a few more intermediate and long runs. I'm hoping that they'll aid in my continued improvement on my gait. We'll see.

Run-Drill-Walk Day

2009-02-21T12:51:00.004-06:00

It's been almost a full week since I've actually been able to get in some training. Due to the cold weather, my work schedule, and mostly my car being serviced, I haven't gotten in a run since Sunday of last week. Today, I ran for 55 minutes and at the end I could certainly tell that I've had a long lay off. However, it felt good to be out there and to have something to be working toward. That being me having a new coach! Thanks to my good childhood friend Karen Berry and her new found love for the sport of endurance athletics, she afforded me the opportunity to be able to work with my new certified triathlon coach - Triswami (check out his website).He's a wonderfully funny and knowledgeable man and coach in the three disciplines. I'm very much looking forward to learning, being pushed, and getting better at this new affinity. It should be good and very informative.

As for today's run, it wasn't my best by a long shot. Be that as it may, I did some beginning and ending drills that were given to me by my coach and some run/walking in between. All total, it amounted to right at 55 minutes and it felt good to get back out there after the layoff. Tomorrow is another day and weather permitting, I'll be out on the road again.

I needed this run to clear the stress-filled cobwebs out of my head. This weekend is my twins' 16th birthday and for me, it's been bitter sweet for many reasons. There's been much to think about, contemplate, pray about, and hope for. Happy sweet 16 Shelby and Taylor! You are the life blood that keeps me going and I can't express how much I dearly love you! May God continue to watch over you and keep you safe.

A Bit Too Cold

2009-02-15T12:28:00.004-06:00

Since I'm currently "car-less," last night I decided to wake up and put on my running gear and get a run in before I watched and listened to the service via online. So, I woke up and donned the running gear and set out in the cold weather. It was tough to say the least but at least it was sunny and clear. I ended up running just short of 25 minutes but it was a relatively intense run. The first couple of miles were right around a 7:30 mile but substantially slowed due to some calf fatigue and some brisk walking mixed in. I guess I just wasn't "feeling it" today. At any rate, I was glad that I at least got out there and did it. I would've loved to have mixed in a bike ride additionally, but the cold was just too unbearable. Those days are right around the corner I'm sure.

During my run, I had a great alone time with my thoughts, with the Lord, and to just clear my head. These time are precious to me. Then after getting back from the run, I turned on my computer to tune into my church service in which our pastor Steve was speaking on the book of Job and the beauty in suffering. This message was geared directly at me! It was so convicting and encouraging at the same time. The main thing (for me) that I got out of it was; God loves me so much that He will allow me to suffer in some of my humanity in order to draw me closer to Him. There have been days where I've asked Him to turn His back on me and leave me alone, but God has been merciful and has seen my heart and through my suffering in this life has indeed continued to draw me closer to Him through allowing me to see just how gross I am in my humanity. The older I get, the more I want to be like Christ and leave a Godly legacy. Everything else will pass away and doesn't matter. Through my adversity and challenges in life, I want the Lord to use this to help others to draw people to Him. It's just that simple.

Thank you Lord for the blessing of suffering in You. Like Job, I know this is temporary and you are growing me to be closer to you for a greater purpose. Thank you for loving me that much. Thank you for my family and friends in which you speak to me through. I know you're real and I love you with my life. Thank you for drawing me closer to You. Amen.

Windy Saturday

2009-02-14T16:41:00.002-06:00

Unbelievable winds were the standard fare for the day. They were gusting at 18 miles per hour and made for a really tough ride this morning. On top of that, it was in the low 50's and obviously cold! Not exactly perfect conducive riding weather, but with spring right around the corner, I'm really getting the fever to be out there riding and because of that, I'm still grateful to be out there.

The ride was just under one hour and 25 minutes and was quite enjoyable due to how clear and crisp it was outside. I'm grateful for the ability to be out there riding. Tomorrow is (hopefully) a ride with my brother and a relaxing run. We'll see how it unfolds.

A Windy Wednesday

2009-02-11T10:26:00.004-06:00

When I say windy on a run today - I mean windy! It was crazy out there as I tried to quickly get in a run before the storms rolled in. The wind was so rough that a few times it was hitting me dead in the face and almost completely standing me up on the run. I had to forcably lean forward to keep my momentum going in the right direction. I don't ever remember running in wind this severe. It was a beast!

However, I had a wonderful one-on-one time with the Lord and my thoughts today on a run. He seemed to impress on my heart that no matter what I do in life, He is a gracious forgiving and merciful God. I feel that He has given me the strength to continue to make it through a dark period in my life and because of that, I feel He's given me a new lease on life. He spoke to me through a song this morning by an artist named Howard Hewitt. The name of the song is, "Say Amen" and the chorus says;

"I wanna thank you God for giving me one more chance, to raise my voice and to sing your praise. I'll sing it out loud. I'll sing it all day. This song is my prayer I give to only you. I know this can't compare to the gifts from you."

For some reason, that really spoke to me and impacted me in a major way. I think it was the Lord's way of speaking to me and saying, "I'm going to give you another chance. This time, use it to further MY kingdom rather than your own." And that's exactly what I intend to do.

As for my run - I went just below 25 minutes and was trying to beat the impending storms that are currently rolling in. I'm glad I made it and glad I got a run in for the day. . . even though it was short.

Season's First Ride

2009-02-07T16:09:00.003-06:00

First outdoor ride of the new year, and even though it was a bit on the chilly side, it was great to be back in the saddle! I needed to have a few more layers on and that was evident within the first 5 minutes I was out on the road. Though having to tough it out, it was a great beginning ride and I had a great time alone conversing with the Lord. We had a nice "chat" about some personal concerns that have been weighing heavy on my mind. The ride and the prayer time proved to be a big stress relief for some reason. It's just like I remembered the last time I rode outside. What a great time it was and it's proved to be an essential growth tool for me. It keeps me centered, grounded, and spiritually focused. Something I've needed to be for years.

This weekend is supposed to be a nice one weather-wise and I'm hoping to be able to get some more quality training in tomorrow (Sunday) after church of course.

Training Coach

2009-02-06T15:27:00.004-06:00

Finally, I was able to get in a solid long 5+ mile run and it felt good because the day was picture perfect! It's, by far, the nicest day of '09 and I ended up running in shorts and a light long sleeve due to it being in the mid to upper 60's. What a gorgeous day. Now if I could only get my bike cleaned up and tweaked out for spring I could get on it and start rolling! However, I'll settle for the long run with the nice weather any day.

I received a wonderful email today from a triathlon coach that I was referred to by Dan at Endurance Sports and Rec here in Franklin. The coach's name is Richard Baker, and judging by his email, he seems to be a wonderful and kind man. He graciously took my initial email and returned it back in far more detail than was necessary for a busy professional. I was humbled by that. In a nutshell, he said that he would love to sit down and meet with me face to face and see if there's any way that he can help me. At this moment, I can't afford a "for real" coach due to my circumstances and he totally understood that. He did however mention that it doesn't cost anything to sit down and discuss some things and even spark up a friendship. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'd love to be able to hire a coach to help me better my training and abilities, but for now, it may have to wait. Until then, I plan to get to know this nice guy and see where a training relationship and friendship may take us. I'm leaving this all in God's hands. . . which is where it belongs.

If you're interested in checking out the Triswami's blog, click here. He's very knowledgeable and just an all-around nice guy.

Strugglin'

2009-02-05T21:12:00.002-06:00

I know it's been a while since the last update. I'm seriously struggling to find the time to stay current with not only this blog, but also my training. I HAVE been training, but not as much as I would like. Partly because of the weather and partly because of my job schedule. However, I'll get things back on a somewhat normal schedule soon. I can't take this too much longer! Be patient as I'm having to be as well.

Stay with me!

Many blessings.

Easy Like Sunday

2009-02-01T14:46:00.004-06:00

Today's weather was unbelievably great compared to recent days past! I went for a 40 minute easy run and today was the first day I've been able to actually wear shorts since I can't remember.

It's Super Bowl Sunday. A day for tons of eating (which Americans seemingly do so well on any occasion) and fellowship with friends and family. I, however, will be spending the day alone watching the game by myself and not over indulging in junk food. I don't say that for any sympathy but because I'm actually looking forward to it. It'll be quiet and I'll be able to concentrate on what's happening in the game. Should be fun and relaxing.

Today the girls and I slept in on Super Bowl Sunday because we all had a good time staying up last night and watching movies until wee hours of the morning. We woke up and I made sure that we all huddled around the computer and watched the service streamed live from Grace Chapel. Steve Berger's message was, once again, on point and convicting for me personally as he talked about pride before a fall and restoration in the love of Christ. I can certainly identify, and it was nice to be able to sit and watch the sermon with the girls as they soak it in and then we be able to discuss it. These are always times that I cherish and I love seeing how they take in what's being said. Discussions always prove to be interesting and insightful, and I'm always amazed at how smart they've become. I thank the Lord for them daily.

The thing that stuck out to me from this morning's sermon was the question:

"What have you done with the grace and blessings that God has given you? Are you humble? Have you glorified God or glorified self?"

In my constant effort to pray and expect God to do big things with me and through me, these are questions that I want to keep constantly in the forefront of my mind. I want to be a vessel for Christ and use my blessings and gifts for His kingdom and not myself. I've done too much of that already!

What big things are you believing and praying for?

Go Cardinals!

Track Saturday

2009-01-31T13:47:00.004-06:00

I'm seriously getting the Spring Fever! Yesterday and today I really felt compelled to do some serious training for long periods but I'm truly trying to be attentive to what my body is telling me and to not take things too fast in order to prevent any injuries down the road.

Today was another track and interval running day in the cold weather. The saving grace was the fact that it was gorgeous outside. . . for a change. I'm really trying to work hard on my running which is the one thing that I hate out of the three disciplines and the one thing that I'm the least proficient at. Therefore, I feel I need to spend the most time working in that area. I REALLY miss the biking though. I'm so ready for the warm weather to roll back around so I can get back on and get going. I'm really longing to find a group of riders that can push me and I can learn from on a regular basis. Hopefully in the Spring, I can find some of those people.

Great day running today and being alone with my thoughts. I touched on some these musings in the video so I'll keep the written portion to a minimum.

Super Bowl Sunday tomorrow! It should be a national holiday!

Hope you enjoy the videos. I'm getting a crash course in Final Cut and loving it! I'm getting pretty good at this editing thing! Could be my new career - ya never know! :-)

The Centennial Park/Swim Meet Run

2009-01-30T21:22:00.003-06:00

Today was a day spent all day in downtown Nashville. Shelby and Taylor had a regional high school swim meet, and I happily took them to the Sportsplex to watch them and spend the day there. Those types of meets and days are extremely long, arduous, and time consuming. However, I'd do it for the girls every day if I had to. After their teams warm-ups in the morning while waiting for the actual meet to start, I decided to walk across the street to do some running in the beautiful Centennial Park. The weather was in the low 30's which made for a very cold run but it was sunny and clear. I bundled up in my cold weather running gear and off I ran. It was a beautiful day and after the hour of running I felt pretty good considering I haven't run in almost a week. I must admit however, I'm a bit sore now after running 6 miles. It's a good sore though.

Not much "spiritual connection" today as I listened to a bunch of podcasts on my head phones. It was a nice diversion and escape.

Looking forward to doing some training this weekend if the weather permits. One can only hope!

Thursday Morning at 9:00

2009-01-29T11:16:00.006-06:00

So it's Thursday and I haven't updated this thing since Monday. Between bad weather for training, hectic work schedule, and being a taxi service for teenagers, it's been hard to get to update this blog. I must confess however, I truly miss the accountability of the daily updating of this blog. It's therapeutic for me to be able to get out what's on the inside whether I'm referring to training, things spiritual, or anything else. For the last 3 days, I've missed being able to document and write to what I feel has turned into an old friend and confidant.

Training-wise, I have been able to get some exercise in. Last night I did an hour on the trainer while watching tv. Not exactly the most exciting thing to do in the training world, but it did the trick for now. Monday was a swim day and Tuesday was a day of rest (but not by my own choice). I'm really fiendin' to get out and do some more running now that the calf muscle situation has run its course. Hopefully, there'll be good weather this weekend that maybe I can get in some sprints and a couple of long runs. I won't hold my breath though.

My scripture for the day was one that hit me pretty hard. It was penned from one of my favorite people in the bible - David. He's a guy that I feel like I can relate to in many ways.

"I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust."
- Psalm 91:2

Monday Night with the Twins

2009-01-26T21:54:00.002-06:00

As I write this, it is 4:41 AM and the girls and I are preparing to leave for swim practice when we get notice that it has been canceled due to icy road conditions. Therefore, I'm going back to sleep!

Yesterday was a good solid workout as you'll see in the video.

What I also wanted to mention was the church service on Sunday and the message that Pastor Steve delivered. He basically talked about the fall of man starting with Adam and why it continues. The main reason is our natural sin nature but these were the notes that I jotted down during the service and wanted to put them here to preserve them.

The Fall of Man continues when we:
1. Allow the word of God to be questioned in our mind.
2. Listen to Satan’s lies.
3. Believe that God is withholding good from us.
4. Disobey God’s commandments.
5. Try and cover or hide our sin.
6. Blame our sin on everyone else.

You will never sin and it not effect someone else.
- Steve Berger

This is something to really think about and ponder. . . at least for me. In the past, I've been guilty of all of the above but through God's grace and mercy I'm forgiven and covered for my sin. God continues to do a work within me, and through my training, he speaks to me. I am in Christ and I'm blessed and not cursed. I am the head and not the tail. Thank you Lord!

A Sore Calf Running Day

2009-01-23T22:07:00.004-06:00

Have had a bit of a frustrating day after my morning run. What has gone from, what I thought was a cramp, has morphed in to a minor injury or slight muscle pull. It's now extremely sore and instead of being able to run tomorrow, now I have to spin on the recumbent bike and I'm not too thrilled about that. I would've loved to have taken a long ride tomorrow but the weather is supposed to not get above 40 degrees. This weather is brutal and I'm ready to move to a tropical region where I belong!

Today's run was actually not that bad aside from the so-called cramp that I thought I had. I felt good otherwise and the injury or pull just shows me how much I still need to work on the running portion of my training.

Heard a great podcast from Everyman Endurance that talked about making it through adversity from the perspective of Todd Crandell. It was very inspiring in many ways and in fact somewhat spiritual. Check out the link. Very cool.

The Black Hole

2009-01-22T09:23:00.003-06:00

In the above video, I spoke of a song that the lyrics left me. The song is called, "God of the City." It's an amazing song written by Aaron Boyd from the group Bluetree. They're from Belfast, Ireland and they have an amazing ministry in Thailand. At any rate, I've been vastly convicted by how the Lord is using these guys and in particular, Aaron. He wrote a song that speaks deeply to my soul. Some of the lyrics are:

"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things have yet to be done in this city."

In context to the song, it's powerful and worth looking up on itunes or youtube. God is doing a massive work in this man and the group Bluetree and I'm humbled by being able to see it happen first hand. God is also stirring and working within our company at Maxx. I just feel priveliged to be a part of something that I feel God is working in. That hasn't been my prayer in the past. My prayers have been selfish in wanting God to bless what I do. Now I've realized that I want to find where God is working and moving and join in. I feel I'm in that situation now!

This morning, I was back to a bit of training and it felt good after not being able to do anything for a few days. I woke up, once again, at 4:30 to get the twins off to swim practice and I get a training swim in as well. I had a 40 minute session that consisted of:

- 500 yd. warm up
- 500 yd. kick/drill
- 500 yd. swim
- 500 yd. pull w/pull bouy
- 4 50 yd. sprints on 1:00
- 200 yd. easy warm down

Things felt good this morning. My only regret is that I haven't been able to be totally consistent with my training due to my work schedule. However, I'm certainly not complaining. God is working in His timing and I'm okay with that.

Random Act of House Searching

2009-01-18T17:02:00.003-06:00

Another track workout day that consisted of:
- 1.5 mile warm up
- 5 minutes of stretching
- 8 - 100 yd. sprints
- .5 mile warm down

I wasn't able to do as much as I would've like due to having Kori with me and I didn't want her to get any more bored than she already was. However, she was a trooper by hanging with daddy as he repeatedly circled the track. That must be boring and tortuous and that's why she's my angel.

This morning was an amazing church service and message from Pastor Steve. The Holy Spirit was truly in that place and He spoke to me in a mighty way. Steve spoke about our lives being a flowing, living, and vibrant river moving through us. He correlated and made the connection between the old and the new testament and he shone a new light on the old testament perspective. It was truly eye-opening and revealing in many respects.

2009 is the year of optimism and praying for big things for me. Praying for things that are only possible through the power of the Lord and truly believing and having faith that He will answer prayer. I believe it!

Painting in the Cold

2009-01-16T20:06:00.004-06:00

Today, the temperature at 10:00 AM was 11 degrees. Certainly not conducive to training outside. Plus, I had to be at the office literally all day painting the new studio that I'm relocating my equipment to. I'm tremendously thankful but greatly tired.

I haven't had a chance to train in 2 days due to schedule and the extreme cold. I'm so ready for the weather to be good and warm. I hate this crap! We're in the middle of a cold front and the weather is supposed to be in the single digits again tomorrow so it looks as though I'm going to have to do some indoor spinning on the bike. Oh well. Man, am I ready to get out and do some more running! Spring, please hurry!

Another Swim Day

2009-01-14T08:31:00.006-06:00

Today was another early morning swim day. Get up at 4:30, get the girls going, off to the complex, then commence swimming. It's tough doing all of that that early I assure you. Even going to bed at 9:00 pm, it's still tough to wake up so early. At any rate, today's workout was an intense one. I decided last night that I wanted to do some long endurance sets with less sprints. I wanted to see how my body would do to the long continuous swimming without any sprint intervals with rest in between. I must say, my body responded a bit better than I had anticipated. I knew that I could do it; I just didn't know how arduous it would be on my aerobic levels. Needless to say, I was fine and felt relatively comfortable. That encouraged me.

My workout consisted of:
- 1000 yd. moderate swim
- 500 yd. kick/drill swim
- 500 yd. swim @ race pace
- 5 x 100 50 yd. sprints on 1:00
- 300 easy warm down

Also, my thoughts during my workout drifted toward my devotion that I had yesterday concerning praying for God to do big things in my life. Things that could be far beyond my control that would truly make himself known. I thought to myself that God is a God of increase. Where I am today is not where I'm supposed to stay. He has greater levels of favor and blessing in store for me. I have to dare to dream big and dare to keep a God-sized vision in front of me! I want to learn to take hold of every blessing that the Lord has in store for me - and I know there are many!

By the way, still no sign of Troy. I know he wants to jump back in to things and has mentioned it to me on a number of occasions, but I'm not pushing. He wants to "re-commit." However, I didn't realize we "un-committed" to begin with.

No Swim Lessons

2009-01-12T10:49:00.004-06:00

This morning was the usual 4:30 AM wake up with the twins. We all got up, got ready, then headed off to swim practice. I swam for 30 minutes, which today was a relatively light day for me swim-wise. My sets consisted of:

- 500 warm-up
- 5 x 100 kick/drill sets
- 8 x 100 50 yd. sprints on 1:00
- 100 easy warm down

After the swim workout, it was off to the weight room where I had to get in some upper body and core work in. Overall, a good training set this morning, but it's still so tough to get used to the early early mornings no matter how early I go to bed.

Lately, I've been emailed and asked how I got into the swimming and if I've had lessons. That question is answered in the above video.

So, what big things are you praying for in '09? I've come up with a few!

Sunday Track Day

2009-01-11T16:15:00.004-06:00

It's an extremely cold Sunday. It's supposed to snow some time today and currently it is 28 degrees. It's the kind of day that you just want to sit in front of the television and watch football.

Shelby, Kori, and I went to church this morning and we had a great sermon from Pastor Steve as usual. He talked about new things for 2009. He even mentioned Facebook and used it as a metaphor for we as Christians to seek Him and have our face more in The Book. That seemed to really connect with Shelby since she's of the "Facebook" generation.

Steve also talked about being consistent in praying for big things. In fact, he challenged me in being consistent in praying for things on a larger scale - whatever that may be. I don't normally do that and I want to be consistent in doing so. I don't really know what, on a large scale, to pray for in my life, but I feel that the Lord will reveal that to me in due time. Maybe during my time with Him in training. Like I've been learning, it's in his perfect timing.

As for today's workout & training regiment, it went like this:

- 1.0 mile warm-up run
- 5 minute stretching
- 6 stadium steps w/sprint intervals in between
- 6 hill sprints
- 1.0 mile easy warm-down
- stretching

This was again done on the track and was pretty tough due to the 30 degree cold weather. I guess what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

Me & The Colonel

2009-01-10T21:33:00.004-06:00

Of course with this being the weekend and having time to do some serious training, the weather of course doesn't want to cooperate. It's about 45 degrees outside and it's raining and it seems like it's been raining for the last 2 months. It's ridiculous and I'm more than fed up with the middle Tennessee conditions. I'm so ready to train in some good weather. It makes things miserable. However being cooped up in the house, made things much worse. Today I had had enough. I decided to go for a run at the track in the rain. I did much the same routine as I did the other day at the track. It consisted of:

- 1.5 mile warm-up
- 5 minute stretching
- 10 100 yard sprints
- 1.0 mile easy run warm-down
- 8 hill sprints
- stretching
50 minutes total

Overall, was a good workout. No real spiritual revelations today. I guess I was too concerned with battling the elements. They were tough to get through on their own, much less having to run and train in them. A very tough day overall. Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday AM Swim

2009-01-08T12:56:00.003-06:00

Today and yesterday were good training days but I found myself being quite tired for some reason. I think it has a lot to with the fact that I'm having to wake up very early but not being able to fall asleep at night. It's catching up to me for sure. However, I had a really good workout this morning that included 45 minutes of swimming and 30 minutes of weights and core work. I'm falling back into the groove for sure.

Tonight I'm actually going to my first bicycle maintenance class and I'm moderately excited about it. Since getting into this cycling thing, I've been quite fascinated with how the bike works and wanting to be able to work on and fix it. Tonight will be the first phase in getting to learn about how to do basic maintenance on the bike which will be quite good for me. We'll see how it goes.

My thoughts today during my workout consisted (oddly enough) of this. I'm not sure why. Maybe the Lord quietly speaking to me in different ways again. Whatever the case, here's what was impressed upon my heart.

"Sometimes our lives have to be dismantled to be built back up."

Many weeks back, my pastor (Steve Berger) said this in one of his messages and it hit home with me back then and really made an impression on me this morning for some unknown reason. Again, and hopefully, it's a spiritual thing where the Lord is working in my life.

Speakin' In the Rain

2009-01-06T15:48:00.004-06:00

As usual, it's raining again. It seems lately that that's all it's been doing. It's so miserable and I hate it when it's cold - much less when it's raining AND cold!

This morning was the return of the early morning wake up routine. The twins and I have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to get going to the swim complex for their high school swim practice. It is so hard going to bed early and waking up that early to get started. It makes for a time in the afternoon where I hit the wall and get really tired. I can't imagine what it does to them! However, it makes me proud that the girls are so dedicated to waking up on their own and getting themselves ready that early in the morning. Never once have I had to wake them up. They always are responsible in waking up on their own in order to get to practice. And I told them, "As long as you are dedicated to wanting to do something like this - I'll make sure that you get there and on time." They've never swayed in their dedication and in turn it's kept me accountable to my word. I'm so proud of them for that.

This morning was a good swim workout. I actually felt better than I thought I would considering it's been at least a couple of weeks since I've been in the water. However, I found that my endurance capacity was better than I had expected. Evidently, the distance running IS actually paying off in more ways than one. BUT, . . . swimming is my strength of the three disciplines and it comes rather naturally when I'm back in the water. I don't really worry about the swimming aspect of training. I just do it to stay sharp and on form and because I enjoy it.

After my 45 minute swim session, I went to the weight room and got some body weight bearing sets in along with some core work. Overall, it was a good training day and a good start to the "early morning" routine again.

Also, I weighed for the first time in a long while this morning. I can tell I've put on some winter weight and the scale proved that theory. I weighed in at 192 lbs. My optimum mid season training weight should be 185 lbs. Not too far off and I feel I'm right where I need to be. This time last year I was closer to 200 lbs, so I'm satisfied with how I managed during the holiday and down time.

Philipians 4:13 was running through my head again this morning. Happens many times during my swims. Is the Lord trying to tell me something? I'm ready to know.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- Philipians 4:13

A Boring Sunday Spin

2009-01-04T16:37:00.004-06:00

Nothing much to report training-wise outside of just getting in a pretty good 60 minute stationary spin indoors. It was very uneventful and super boring! Thank God for music! I would've wanted to die if I'd had nothing.

Still trying to be diligent about my training and I'm still very connected to the spiritual aspect of the mental escape. I, once again, found myself in a different mental state once I was well into the indoor spin. It simply amazes me what happens mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. Maybe there's something chemical that happens within the body. I DO know that major amounts of endorphins are released and that may have something to do with it. I don't really know, but it IS fascinating and I look forward to my "spiritual" time alone.

I think Troy is getting back to a place where he's wanting to jump back in, but I'm not sure. He's expressed interest and I'm hoping that he is wanting to again get going - for none other than his personal health. He'll be back. I know it and I can feel it. It just has to be on his timing and willingness.

Stadium Steps

2009-01-02T22:08:00.004-06:00

Not a very action packed day but did have a very intense workout running the stadium steps for almost an hour. I'm definitely feeling the effects of the cross training but it's a good feeling for sure. I'm slowly but surely getting the hardening of the legs back for running. I haven't biked on the road nor swam for a while but that's not a bother for me. I'm content in concentrating on my running and its form. It's coming along and will continue to improve. I'm already encouraged at the progress that I've been making in this area. I'm going for it!

January 1 - Track Day

2009-01-01T14:34:00.004-06:00

Wow! 2009! It seems like just the other day when we were bringing in the new millennium. Now it's almost a decade past. Amazing how much water has passed under the bridge in so seemingly little time. Before I know it, I'll be 50 years old! That used to seem so old to me and now it's very much in my sights. I'm 41 years old and I don't feel at all over 25! God has blessed me with good health and I want to be a good steward of that by (hopefully) being able to help others in their health quests. I believe the Lord has put this inside of me and it's something that I haven't always had. It has definitely come from my transformation process and is part of this new attitude of trying to be a blessing to others as I've been blessed in the past.

With today being the first of the year, I wanted to start the year off properly with a good intense workout. A track workout. As you'll hear in the video, it was nice but it was tough. I pushed it just enough to feel it, but not too much that it will hinder me later. I'm learning what my body needs and how far to go while at the current fitness level that I may be. My workout consisted of:

- 1.5 mile easy warm-up run
- 5 minute concentrated stretching (concentrate on deep breathing)
- 10 100 yard sprints building to top speed (run the straights and walk the curves)
- 1 mile walk or easy run warm down
- 5 minute stretch

During my workout, I was listening to a sermon podcast and was struck by a saying that is also in the video. It went like this:

The size of your problems in an indication of the size of your potential.

I thought that was a great quote and one that really resonated with me being in the situation that I've been in. I'm hanging on to this one because I believe that God has some very big things in store for both me and my brother. '09 is just the beginning!

For that, I'm Grateful

2008-12-31T16:00:00.002-06:00

As I write this, I'm currently lying on my couch with it very quiet in my house and reflecting on this past year. And oh what a year it's been! The year started out with the finalization of my divorce and possibly the toughest/darkest thing I've ever had to endure. In fact, I'm still feeling the effects of that whole situation and very well could for a long time. I'm not going to lie; 2008 was quite a tough year for me. It was a year of struggle, humility, change, and fortitude. I look back and see that there were many times that I didn't want to go on, but God gave me the strength to somehow continue. It was a year of realizing that God is truly real and He didn't allow me anything more than I could bear - therefore, I'm grateful. I have to say as tough as things have been this past year, I'm still a very blessed man. I'm thankful for many things past and I'm certainly thankful for my future, my potential, and who I will be through the Lord's merciful refinement of my character. God has been graceful and gentle in His approach to me and my life circumstances. He's revealed Himself through many things and people. For that, I'm also humbled and grateful. Some of the few things that I'm grateful for are:

- My wonderful children - My kids have been THE source of strength, encouragement, and drive to help me get through my "darkness" period. They've been so amazing in how God has used them to speak to me in so many different ways. I've experienced the grace of forgiveness from above through my wonderful girls. Throughout this whole situation and the past year, they still seem to think I'm wonderful and cool. That, in and of itself, is holy forgiveness and a gift that will keep me going for a long time to come.

- My brother Troy - What more could I say about him. This guy is the one guy that refuses to let me go and is there no matter what! No matter the circumstances, he is the guy that has stood by me through everything unconditionally. And throughout everything he has told me that he will love me. THAT is godliness and a reflection of the love of Christ. I don't know that I could or would be that way, but he (over almost everyone else) has shown me the loving realness of our Lord. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

- My parents - I'm so grateful that I have parents that have shown me and raised me in a Christ-centered environment. The older I get, the more I realize how valuable that is. They have planted a seed in me that continues to grow within me in wanting to be closer to Him, be more selfless, and become more giving and understanding. They have instilled in me right and wrong, yet even when I make drastically wrong, unhealthy, and bad choices, they continue to forgive as Christ forgives. Again, something I'm not sure I could do on a regular basis. For that too, I'm eternally grateful.

Lastly, I'm grateful for many other things in my life. Too many to name, but I know that God has special things in store for me in the coming years. I am sure of that. He has allowed me to cross paths with my now good friend Jay Hall. The Lord has shown me that there are good godly people here and ones that are honest, have integrity, and are truly interested and concerned in people and their innate goodness. Jay is one of these men. He has decided to do life with me and I him in return. He's a wonderful Godly man and has helped me physically in so many unexplainable ways - and the funny thing is, I'm not the only one. The Lord has a special place in Heaven for this man. I'm convinced of it and I find myself being drawn to him and just wanting to be around him in order to make myself a better person. For that, I'm forever grateful.

In all, I'm looking forward to 2009 and not looking or dwelling on the past. It's time to move! It's time to change, and I mean change for the better. God is still working on me and that means I have His attention. . . for some reason. And for that. . . . I'm eternally and lovingly grateful!

Late Night, Early Morning

2008-12-30T09:45:00.008-06:00

It's currently 9:46 a.m. as I write this. Not necessarily early by my "normal" standards, but early for me in this particular situation. It's sunny outside. Not too cold, and overall just nice. Reflecting on the events of last evening, God is good. Here's why:

Last night, I was watching a movie at home and decided to hit the sack afterward. Just as I was getting settled in, I get a text from a long time friend that I used to work with and write with extensively in the studio. His name is Michael Ripoll (click to see his website) and he now lives in Los Angeles and is the musical director for Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds - yes, THE Babyface. Michael is an extremely uber talented guitarist and artist that has moved out west and become quite successful in his work both on the road as a musician and in the studio as a song writer. He's currently in town to take care of some business and do some writing and after flying in, decided to call me first to see what I was doing.

He texted me at 11:00 seeming like he needed to talk, so I told him to come over to the house. By the time he arrived, it was midnight. We stayed up talking till 3:30 a.m! Come to find out, Mike (as he allows me to call him) is going through some personal struggles and needed some outside guidance and insight. So he comes to me??? I figured that I'd be the last person anyone would come to to try and get some wisdom and get things straight. However, he did and we had a wonderful time talking through some things that we've both struggled with in the past. The wonderful thing in all of this however, is the fact that the Lord allowed me to share some things about His grace and mercy that I've experienced that I believe really spoke to Michael. Without really being able to describe it, it was one of those God moments where He was actually there with us. It was us being real. Us being vulnerable. And us sharing our hearts and God was in the place with us. We could feel it. In fact, we talked about it. It was a special time for me and the funny thing is; I feel the Lord spoke more to me than He did to Michael through me!

I just want to be used for Him, give of myself, and be available. That's been my prayer and last night was a time that God answered a prayer and showed me a glimpse of better days ahead. God is good - all the time!

Now if I could just get some sleep. Training comes later!

Easy Like Monday Morning

2008-12-29T15:12:00.004-06:00

I'm on day three with no television because honestly I haven't paid my cable bill and it's not high on my survival priority list. Being without it has actually been a bit liberating as well. I'm doing a lot more contemplating, reading, praying, watching movies, and working out. I've found that the TV only takes up time that could be better spent doing more productive things. I'll say this; it makes for a much more quiet place around here, that's for sure.

I found out that the girls won't get home until after the new year so that means I'll be alone bringing in '09 - unless I find something to do (which is entirely possible). I'm sad about that because we had planned to do what we did last year in bringing in the new year at the movie theater. However, that obviously won't be happening so I have to make the best of my time. Oh well, there's always next year.

Today was a beautiful day outside but a little on the cold side at 55 degrees. Definitely too cold to go for a ride (at least for me). So I decided to punch out a 4 mile run in the sunshine. I felt good. No calf pain. And I took it easy and didn't push too much. I'm determined to get this running as strong as my swim and bike so I can win my age groups. That, to me, is an achievable goal - especially with my athletic background and fitness level. It'll happen. Maybe not this year yet, but it'll happen. Trust me.

Now for Troy. I just received a text stating that he's ready to start all over. He's said he's gained some weight back and is ready to start the fight again. That's good news to me! In my opinion, it's never too late to start so I'll be right there with him to push him. He's also ready to go on a hiking and camping trip so we're going to sit down and talk about when we can make that happen as well. That'll be fun and we'll keep you informed.

This is the verse that I heard yesterday during church that really lifted my spirits and gave me hope:

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
2 Corinthians 8:9

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and here's to a prosperous New Year.

Descending Into Greatness

2008-12-28T14:05:00.006-06:00

Today is not about training, working out, physical fitness, or any of that sort. Although later today, I do plan to get a light spin in. Today is about contemplation. You see, it's very quiet around here. I've decided to give up my television for a good while since all it seems to do is take up needless time when I could be focused on other things. Therefore, the only things to do around here is to listen to music, workout, read, and think - and I say that from a positive perspective. The thing is, I feel God is continuing to strip me of myself. Again, I look at this as a positive and not a negative.

Case in point: I woke up late for church this morning for some unknown reason and because I really have had a longing to be in church and hear the word, I promptly jumped on the computer and logged in to listen to the sermon live. Anticipating our Pastor Steve Berger's sermon, I realized that there was going to be a guest speaker. I was a bit bummed to say the least because I love hearing our pastor speak. At any rate, I stayed tuned in and before I could realize, I was completely enthralled with the message because I felt it was directed at me. The message was about descending into greatness as Jesus did while he was on this earth. It was very convicting and contradictory to what our society teaches. It was exactly what I needed to hear after this past weekend. Some of the things that stuck out to me were:

- Take what you've been given and do something with it that lightens someone else's load, and brightens someone else's life.

- The only way to keep what you have is to give it away. The only way to gain wisdom is to give it away.

- Christianity is the only major religion which has as its central event the humiliation of its God.
Bruce Shelly

All of this hit a bit too close to home and really spoke to me in a major way. Thank you Lord for the healthy conviction.

This message can be heard here via audio or video.

Saturday Easy Run

2008-12-27T14:00:00.004-06:00

Today's temperature is supposed to get as high as 70 degrees! However, tomorrow there's a cold front moving back in so I wanted to make sure that I got in a nice easy run workout while the temperature wasn't God-forsaken cold! I decided to do another 4 mile run and ran the course in the opposite direction than what I normally run just to make things interesting and mix things up a bit. I deliberately ran at a slower and easier pace than I did yesterday because I have the tendency to go a bit too hard and my mind wants to do things that my body is not ready for. Therefore I had to mentally prepare myself to go easy so I wouldn't feel the after-effects in subsequent days. I am having to continuously tell myself to ease back into getting your running legs back - even though I mentally want to go out hard every time. This, I know, is to alleviate future injuries and unnecessary tax on the body. Believe me, I'm learning. Plus, I have plenty of time to get everything back into even better shape than I was last tri season. I know my areas of weakness now and I know where I can improve and get even better. It'll happen. This is a marathon, not a sprint!

I have no idea where Troy is in all of this process. He seems content to be where he is with his fitness, training, and current situation of having a baby on the way. I'm not pressing him and he knows that I'm still out there training and trying to get it done. He'll be back I'm hoping. Especially when cycling season rolls back around. I feel like he is too into that to just let it go by the wayside.

Frustration Has Set In!

2008-12-26T14:43:00.005-06:00

Yes, frustration has set in and I'm just in a bad place for a number of reasons. This Christmas has managed to be a truly crappy one for a number of personal reasons. Despite how much I try and make the best out of a situation, my faith and patience continue to be tested and it's really wearing on me. Must be a sign from the Lord for me to slow down and focus more on Him.

I'm going to stop right there before I go into more details. It's just not necessary.

The run today was good. A bit slow, but needed nonetheless. It was a great stress reliever and the weather was actually pretty good. The humidity was high which probably accounted for the slowness, but it was good to be out there and working on getting my running legs.

Indoor Cycling

2008-12-25T00:55:00.003-06:00

Today I went to a movie with Troy since today was slow and and due to the fact that it's Christmas Eve, there was nothing going on. We saw the movie "Yes Man" and we certainly enjoyed the humorous escape. Afterward, I came home and ended up doing nothing which resulted in some serious boredom. Because of this, I decided to get in an indoor base workout. Not exactly what I call an exciting training session, but at least I did do something. I also got to fit in some plyometric drills and core work and called it a day. The rest of the day was spent watching movies in front of the television. Quite an exciting Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas to all.

Tis the Season

2008-12-23T09:12:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was a regular work Monday for most of the business world. However, my Monday was spent at the office of the company that has so welcomed me as one of their own. In this day and time, I feel so blessed to be a part of something that's thriving and I get to do things that I know I'm good at and have done over the many years past. Maxx Tech is the company that I work for and I've been brought in to be an A&R type guy of sorts. For those that don't know what an A&R guy is, it's basically a relationships person that keeps good relations between the company and creative types. That's my job - to foster good working relationships with people outside that we work with along with gathering and creating content. I love what I do and I especially love who I work with. Do I make enough money yet? No. But that's coming in due time and I'm honestly trusting the Lord in that department - truly. I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be both physically and spiritually and I'm happy about that.

It just so happens that Troy is looking like he will be landing here as well after being laid off from his job situation. That would be amazing for me and for the company. Jay, our boss, has so lovingly taken us in and accepted us as family and he's setting up his company in a very powerful way. Troy and I both are fortunate enough to see this from behind the curtain. It's exciting and I'm glad to be a part of the team and it's future. I'm even more glad that it's looking like Troy is going to be on that team as well. I guess I couldn't ask for a better scenerio.

Training has been waining of late due to the weather and hectic hustle-bustle of the season. I'm anxious to get back into a serious training routine, but not until I catch up on the rest that I'm afforded during the days off. I'm enjoying this time of "slow-down". However, I'm ready to kick it into a whole other gear starting in January.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

- Isaiah 9:6

Very appropriate and encouraging for this time and season.

A Warm Friday

2008-12-19T13:56:00.004-06:00

Today was a tough running day due to the wind. However, I'm grateful that I was even able to run at all. This Tennessee weather is absolutely crazy! This morning was rainy and cold and later today at lunch time, it's mid 60's! That's when I decided to hurry up, get my running gear on, and knock out a lunch time run. I'm definitely not in running shape. . . yet. But I will be, and I'm anxious to get back to the regular training routine with good weather.

My run time was a 34:39 over 4 miles. Definitely room for improvement!

This past week has been a refining process for me. I've been learning to TRULY have faith in the Lord and cast my cares to Him and know that He will provide for my every need. In my gross and selfish humanity, that's a hard concept to grasp. However, I'm getting there and the Lord is showing me new things daily.

This was a verse I came across this week in my daily devotion. Another small confirmation that the Lord has me in His loving hands.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalms 55:22

Another Gloomy December Day

2008-12-18T10:41:00.001-06:00

Today I'm taking as a rest day. Too much to do and the weather sucks! I'm starting to figure that the month of December is just not meant for training and working out. Oh well.

Draw Me Close

2008-12-17T13:20:00.003-06:00

It was a quiet, cold, and dreary morning. Obviously, not the type of weather to be getting outside to train in. Therefore, I decided to get in an hour spin on the incumbent bike. Not exactly my idea of exciting training. At any rate, I kept things quiet and low-key. No tv, no training partner, no kids. Just me, my bike, and some music through my headphones to do some escaping. Once again, I found my self drifting to that spiritual zone. The one where God makes himself one step short of visible. I've come to realize this is a very real and cherished thing for me. It's my one-on-one time with my Lord. It's my prayer closet per se'.

With all that's going on in my life, the lives around me, and our society in general, it's easy to get caught up in the problems of self. The Lord spoke to me again about being more giving to other, more selfless, and more aware of others' concerns. This is where I want to go and be. So, as I'm listening to my worship music while I'm spinning and pouring sweat, the Lord (once again) speaks to me through a song that comes on. This was my message:

Draw Me Close
Draw me close to you never let me go
I lay it all down again to hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire no one else will do
'cause no one else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way bring me back to you

Chorus:
You're all I want, you're all I've ever needed
You're all I want help me know you are near

I feel that this is all that God asks and longs for from us. Continuous and personal fellowship with Him. I'm so grotesquely human and I have such a long way to go!

Today Was An Odd Day

2008-12-15T21:06:00.006-06:00

Yes, that's right - today WAS an odd day. It all started out normal enough with an early wake up to get the girls to swim practice. I also got in a 43 minute intense swim workout and I felt good about getting it done. I'm so ready for the weather to start warming again (as it we're currently in an ice storm here in Nashville). Anyway, after the workout and some working in the studio, I received some troubling news from Troy that I would covet the prayers of all who may read and see this post. Troy is struggling and I seem to be taking it quite a bit tougher than even he is. I feel that I can endure the hits that life seems to dish out, but it's a different thing when it effects someone that I love so dearly that seems so undeserving of some unfortunate news. Be that as it may, that is what we like to call life. Life isn't always easy and in fact, we're not even promised tomorrow. So I have to concentrate on living for today and having ultimate faith in my Lord and Savior to provide for all my earthly needs. He's watching over me. He's also watching over the ones I love so dearly. This I know.

This is the verse I always pull up in my mind when things get tough. It seems to help me and give me hope. I know that I need to put my faith and trust in the one who provides my daily life and strength.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

Cold Weather Saturday

2008-12-13T17:00:00.003-06:00

As I sit here and write this blog, I'm simultaneously watching the Triathlon Ironman Championships in Hawaii. It's unbelievable! Some amazing stories of perseverence and courage. It certainly makes me feel thankful for the many blessings that I have rather than focusing on my many trials. Watching this makes me want to train harder because of seeing some of these athletes and the adversity that they have to overcome. It's amazing the stories! It's life changing. It's spiritual. And it's a taxing process that you put your body through to see what its limits are. To me, it's a mirror to life and what the Lord allows us to endure in order to sharpen us and make us stronger. That's the thing I love about training and competing in triathlons and that's what continues to help me get through this rough period in my life. Even in the struggles, I thank God that He has a much bigger plan and knows the outcome to my life. He's not finished with me yet and I want to be ready.

Fun Fridays!

2008-12-12T22:56:00.005-06:00

I'm freakin' sick of this cold weather crap! I'm so ready to get out and run and bike! I feel like a caged animal trying to break away. It's so arduous to sit on the incumbent bike for a whole hour and not go anywhere. Granted, I can watch tv while I'm spinning, but it's not the same thing to be able to be outside riding the back roads and see the scenery change. Same goes for the running. I never thought I'd miss it, but I guess I've reached that point.

It has been snowing, extremely cold, and certainly not conducive to training out doors. I'm sick of it! I'm ready to live in an all-season area of the country but that's not realistic. So with that in mind, I have to make the best of my situation and keep myself in some assemblence of good shape or I'll be suffering come late March for the Natchez Tri.

I have no idea if Troy is still going to be a part of the reigndeer games, so I continue to trudge along on my own and try to stay self motivated - which is the toughest part. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully, I'll be able to get in a nice long run. We shall see.

Natchez Trace Sprint Tri

2008-12-11T22:13:00.005-06:00

If you've been looking in at the blog, you may have noticed that the upper right corner counter of the blog page shows the counter for an event that I think Troy and I are targeting (Natchez Trace Sprint Tri). Well, at least I'm targeting it. I still don't really know if Troy is in or not. Troy is in a huge slump and may not feel like training or targeting any races. I on the other hand, have this race clearly in my sights and the only hinderence for me will be financial. As you can see by the banner, the race is a sprint tri and is scheduled for late May. This upcoming season I will be training hard for some Olympic and maybe some 70.3 distances, so this race at the beginning of the season will be a nice precursor to some longer distances.

I'm looking forward to the up coming racing season as it'll be my first full one. I'm extremely ready for the cold weather to pass so I can get back outside. I'm feeling the cabin fever at the moment and I hate training inside now that I've gotten a taste of the out door training. I'm having to force myself to workout in the weight room inside. I'd rather just leave that for pushing the weights instead of the overall workout. Oh well, I've got to remain patient. The good weather will be here soon enough.

Psalm 118:14 The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me victory.

This verse, I find, gives me strength and hope for tomorrow.

Webisode #3 - Goin' Home

2008-12-10T05:41:00.004-06:00

As I write this, it's currently 5:45 a.m. and I'm in the process of getting Soul P. out the door and to the airport after a very productive and good time having him here. He's certainly got a gift for what he does and he does it well. I'm glad we had him come in work on some music with Zach and I to liven up the project that we're putting together in order to pitch to corporate and commercial music.

It's been great having him and catching back up with him since we haven't seen each other in almost 2 years. However, I must admit that I'm ready to get back into my regular workout routine because I'm feeling vastly neglected on the physical and training side. It's time for me to get back in the pool, on the bike, and hitting the road because I need that time with the Lord. He's calling!

Webisode #2 - Soul P.

2008-12-09T10:50:00.006-06:00

Night number two of having Soul P. and Zach in the studio. Man, we're coming out with some really hot stuff! Check him out on his myspace page. We're still trying to make some hits and pitch the stuff to film, television, publishing companies, gaming companies, etc. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting to get Soul back out of here so I can get back to my regular training routine. From my training scheduled routine, it's been frustrating but I love having my good friend Soul here. We really connect on a lot of levels personally and spiritually and I've loved watching how Zach fits right in. There's something special about this combination that's beyond words and it'll be interesting to see what happens down the road.

At some point, I'll post some excerpts of some of the music that we've been working on. Personally, I dig it because of it's energy.

Tomorrow is back to the training grind! I'm ready! Keep you posted.